Officially Saying Goodbye To GCHBC (Protocol Observed)

Apparently, even going away parties operate on "African Time" in Botswana so it is a darn good thing that I stuck around for a third year or they would have needed to have it without me! Nearly six months to the day since I moved out of Gabane, I was honored with a very special "Farewell Kamogelo" event at Gabane Community Home-Based Care.

Let me set the stage...

The event, which was held at the center, was attended by the GCHBC staff and board, the home-based care volunteers, the District AIDS Coordinator, district counsellors, the village chief (Kgosi), clinic and health post staff, community members, and a number of people I worked with on various projects. While everyone showed up on time (a huge feat), the event still started nearly two hours late. Conversation filled the time, though, so it went by as if only a moment passed. The room was overflowing with smiles, laughter, song, and dance. The smell of my favorite Setswana dishes traveled out of the kitchen (with happy cooks exclaiming that the vegetables were from the garden we built, a fact they knew would make me exceedingly happy). And the tables were covered with shiny linens in white and purple, expertly ruffled so it looked like flower blossoms adorned them. The atmosphere was stunning and the energy nearly took my breath away.

The event had a formal component, where I sat at the head table and heart-felt speeches were given. Among them was a speech given by the center's coordinator, Mma Leburu. She spoke first in Setswana and then repeated in English, making sure I heard her words. Her oration brought tears to my eyes. She talked about the challenges we overcame, the work we did, and the skills they now have. She had people from the audience stand in acknowledgement as she told stories about projects I had worked on. For instance, the family we built the home for, children and all, stood as she talked about that effort and the School Heads from the primary schools when we discussed my ongoing caregiver training and support project. As they stood, they blew kisses and bowed in my direction. I couldn't help but tear up at this gesture. Compliments were paid to me that humbled me beyond compare. And then, perhaps the best compliment was made to me as Mma Leburu said:

"Kamogelo, you never judged us or looked down on us for our lack of education or experience. You just held our hand and believed in us. Because of you, because of your kindess, and because of your love, we now see in ourselves everything that you always told us we were. You were our gift. We love you."

And, with that, ululations exploded from the crowd, I burst into tears, and I lept out of my chair and ran over to Mma Leburu and hugged her a half dozen times before walking throughout the room to give hugs to everyone there.

While I finished handing out my hugs, everyone began to sing and wave and point at me. The lyrics to the song, which were exceptionally poignant, were (translated from Setswana): "Go well my lady, go well, but don't every forget us!" As they sang, I kept thinking, How could I ever forget these people?!

During their song, Sebina (my counterpart and one of the staff from the center) slowly brought a giant wrapped present over to me. The moment she laid it on the table, she began to unwrap it, too excited to wait on me. As the hand-decorated brown paper fell to the side, pottery was revealed! It was an entire tea set made by my friends at the Pelegano pottery place! A tea pot, six cups and saucers, a sugar pot, and a milk pitcher! As I gasp with surprise and awe (since this was a set that I had looked at purchasing for some time), Sebina whispered "I know you love this. It matches the big coffee mugs you already have. I remembered!" And then she smiled ear-to-ear as I jumped around thanking everyone for their generosity.

Moments later, Sebina was handing me another gift, which was just from her with a note attached to it. While the gift was beautiful (a red vase), the note was exponentially more special. I hugged her again to let her know how much it meant to me and, as I did, she said "I will never forget your hugs." So I hugged her again.

The entire day was a reminder about all the things that made my Peace Corps service so special - these ladies, this community, and our relationship. This was what my service was about and no one can ever take that away from us. It is something I will never forget. And now it is something that I know they will never forget either. It brought so much joy to me to have that closure with them and the acknowledgement of everything we shared. I kept thinking about how lucky I was to still be in the country to have this time together and this experience, and I wondered how many volunteers never get the chance for this. After all, I "should have" been gone six months ago... So, to those who left without a party or without hearing these words, I hope you know that your service mattered and you inevitably touched people beyond recognition. Sometimes it just takes them a little while to sort through it all and find the words. Two years just isn't enough.

Finishing Up: Gabane Community Home-Based Care

Yesterday was a truly epic day. It was a day when I got to witness the end-game of my work at Gabane Community Home-Based Care (GCHBC). And, what makes it even more memorable and exciting, is that I got to do it in the form of an amazing event, alongside all the people who were part of those efforts from the community at large. My heart will be overflowing with joy, pride, and gratitude when I think about this day for the rest of my life. What was supposed to be a small event became something so much more.

A few days ago, the coordinator from GCHBC called to let me know there was going to be an event to hand over and unveil a brand new playground at the center. This had been a last-minute project that I pursued, mere weeks before I finished my time in Gabane and went for home leave. Although PCVs are encouraged not to start anything new at the end of their service, I believe that when opportunities present themselves it is important to grab them, so we made the effort. Getting the playground would offer a safe place for the children to hang out and have fun, as our previous one was dilapidated and in great need of repair. Two days before I left, I received word that our proposal was accepted and representatives from a local bank branch would be sponsoring the playground. Over the past two months, this effort came to fruition. And yesterday, I got to see the labor of love and watch the children's eyes light up when they saw their new play area.

I was so overwhelmed with love when I arrived at the center. I had been gone for two months and hadn't seen my Botswana family in as long. Hugs were the first thing on the agenda. But, not long after our familial embraces, I was sneaking around the event tents, media, and special guests, towards the new playground. I couldn't wait until the unveiling. I had to see it now!

When I saw the new playground, I could hardly believe my eyes! The new playground has swings, a climbing wall, teeter-totters, a bridge, slides, and an in-ground trampoline! And it was all new! And beautiful! I nearly burst into tears imagining the kids seeing it - how was I going to react when that time actually came?! I mean, who actually has an in-ground trampoline at their preschool center? It seemed impossible. This was just too magnificent to behold.

I went to run over to the ladies to gush about the playground but was intercepted by the donor, who I immediately hugged. She laughed and laughed because my excitement and my gratitude was so palpable. I hadn't seen the plans for the playground before I left so it was a complete surprise to me. It exceeded all of my hopes and expectations. I knew the children's reaction would be even more amazing.

Finally, after a few words with the donor, I went in search of the ladies from the center. As I rounded the corner of the event tent, I saw it. There, parked in front of me, was the combi we had written a proposal for many months prior! SURPRISE!

No one knew it was coming. FNB Foundation, who we were awarded the combi through, had talked to the bank branch weeks before and asked to surprise us with the combi at the handing over ceremony. And surprised we were! I honestly couldn't believe my eyes! Everyone must have been waiting for my reaction because, as I squealed with joy and shock, I turned around to see all the staff and donors laughing and smiling. IT WAS HERE!!! THE COMBI WAS HERE!!! And it, too, was beautiful!!! Goodbye old combi! Goodbye spending 47% of our funds on vehicle repairs! HELLLLOOOOOO riding in personalized style! WE HAVE A BRAND NEW COMBI! The combi was the last out-standing award I was waiting for to complete my time at Gabane Community Home-Based Care. I needn't wait any longer!

And all of this happened BEFORE the actual event and handing over ceremony!

The event was well attended. Our Kgosi and Minister of Parliament were there, as were the heads of the donor agencies and our entire board. The community came out in hordes. Every major village organization was represented - the clinic, health post, support group, school heads, and the other NGO in the village. Everyone who had been a part of my service in Gabane was there. And, over and above, the media came out to photograph and televise the event. It was truly spectacular. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be in attendance. The represented everyone that was part of time in Gabane.

On a very personal note, during his speech, the board chairperson made a very special "thank you" address to me for my efforts with the center. His words were kind beyond compare. He then asked me to stand. Everyone applauded me and the children came rushing over and hugged me. I was overwhelmed to the point that tears welled up in my eyes. To me, the only reason I was able to achieve so much was because I had a great team alongside me. They worked so hard and absorbed all I had to share with them. It was a joint effort. But I was so grateful for the acknowledgement and pleased they spoke so highly of me. I, of course, think the world of him and the ladies at the center.

As an added surprise, the donors also presented fleece blankets and small mattresses for each and every child in the center (54 of them!!!). The children clung to these blankets (which were a great gift, especially with how cold it was yesterday), even as they saw the playground for the first time. It was adorable watching them try to run to the playground and jump on the trampoline and climb the ramp with their blankets in tow. But they were just too excited to part with anything. Precious.

(Side note: When I went into the classroom to greet the children before the event started, they came running over shouting "Kamogelo! Kamogelo" and all wanted to do our "secret handshake". It warmed my heart that they still remembered everything because it was so special to me. And, I know you're likely thinking "But, Tija, it's only been two months, how could they forget?" Well, humans are incredibly resilient. Now apply that to 3-year-old orphans. I left them and was worried they would have blocked it all out in the name of self preservation. I am happy to report that they haven't. Smiles all around!)

After the event, I took some time to walk around the center and check out a number of projects we had done during my service, including the garden. Nearly a year later, the garden is thriving. The center feeds only from there now and it is still producing enough for income generation. It was amazing to see the plants flourishing. I was proud that the staff at the center were keeping up with it and, if anything, had improved the already gorgeous garden. It also a relief to see that nutrition is now taking a front stage in the efforts of the center's work towards helping the children and the home-based care patients.

The same goes for the new fruit tree orchard. This was a slower effort, but potentially more sustainable in the long-term. We grew these from tiny saplings that had been donated by a local greenhouse. There are now nearly twenty fruit trees - papaya, mango, and orange - that accompany our bustling garden. Small buds are beginning to flower on the trees, as the first signs that fruit will come. This is a joyous sight. And, if I may get sentimental for a moment, these trees are representative of our joint efforts at the center. They started out small and we weren't sure what would come of them. But then they were planted and nourished and strong roots began to take hold - a foundation for growth. Now they are strong and the potential limitless. How wonderful to witness.

As I walked into the office after witnessing the event, our awards, and the progress made in the fields around the center, the coordinator impressed me yet another time. She pulled out a new financial report they had made, unassisted, in preparation for an upcoming audit. The report was beautiful. They had learned everything I had shown them and were able to do it all on their own. There were QuickBooks reports and breakdowns and everything was substantiated with perfectly organized ledgers and more. I knew they could do it but it took my breath away to see the end result.

Lastly, the ladies announced that they refurbished a proposal I had written months ago and submitted it to a local foundation. They are meeting with a foundation representative next week about being awarded sponsorship for the next three years. If this happens, the center stands to receive upwards of P1.2 million to support its programs. That would give them the resources to grow the preschool, implement the Kids Club, and expand its reach to help even more people. I am so proud of the ladies for taking the initiative to pursue this opportunity. They are stronger than ever and ready to push forward to a new level. I am blessed to have been a part of their journey to now.

In the words of the coordinator, "All that's left to do is sing and dance and celebrate!"

The Problem With "Progress"

When we think about progress, most people envision the digital age. They see computers and databases and systems that make everything run quicker and easier. The problem with this in the developing world is that electricity is sometimes out for days or weeks, making it difficult to keep things updated electronically. Most organizations get along fine by having hand-written hard copies of all records too. While this is cumbersome and means doubling the time to do things, it is the only way. Even still, in the name of progress, people are eager to learn how to use computers and get everything online.

Gabane Community Home-Based Care, the organization I spent the majority of my service with, was no exception to this desire to enter the technological world. And, after getting eight computers donated, I helped them scale up operations using them - teaching courses and building systems specifically designed to move them in that direction. We spent tireless hours on typing and then building capacity to create and update financial systems (QuickBooks) and program databases. It was an effort that was bringing new skills to the staff at the center. They were learning so much and being able to do everything on their own. We were excited about our progress. It felt limitless.

A few days ago I received a phone call from the center coordinator. After the customary greetings and small talk, she informed me that she had bad news - "Kamogelo, I have something very sad to tell you." I braced myself. No one likes hearing these words and, within the context of the work I was engaged, it can be scary to hear them. She went on to tell me that a thief had broken into the computer lab I had put together and that all eight of our computers had been stolen. GASP! She said that they had just finished updating all of the systems and that, after so long, they had finally gotten everything organized into QuickBooks from 2010 to present. Be still my heart! I was at a loss for words. On one hand, I was impressed that they had kept up all the hard work in my absence (YAY sustainability!). On the other hand, I was devastated that nearly two years worth of work had been taken from us, just that easily. And taken from such a good-hearted charitable organization no less. How could this be happening?!

After some time in silence, I assured the coordinator that I had some records backed up on my personal hard drives and she confirmed what I already knew - they didn't have a digital backup of anything but they had been hand-writing a hard copy of some things and would have to continue in that manner since the computers were gone. Phew! In that moment, I was so grateful they had not completely discontinued their tedious hand-written work in favor of the more progressive technology. Had they, everything would have been gone. Losing the computers and all the databases and digital files created over the passed years was bad enough.

Crimes of this nature are increasingly common. It is a tragedy and it breaks my heart. But this is the reality in much of the developing world. Sure, it could happen anywhere, but the prevalence rate is much higher in some places. It is something that we, as development workers, need to be conscious of when imparting our perceived notion of "progress" on others. Yes, it may be true that this is the way forward but, at the same time, we have to keep these external factors in mind. I am relieved that we didn't completely do away with the common way of record-keeping in the village in our pursuit of progress. And, the coordinator assures me, when they eventually get computers again, they will be ready to use their new skills to go at it again... as a second means of documentation.

"Goodbye, My Friend"

As I approach my last week working at my NGO, I am filled with mixed emotions and inner turmoil that could only be articulated through this clip from the 1987 movie Harry and the Hendersons:

Contrary to what you may think, I am both George and Harry in this scene. I am trying to say goodbye, I am fighting to hold on, I am trying to make sense of everything, and I am forcing myself to go.

How this is playing out in reality is that I am actively trying not to go into my center so the staff get used to not seeing me every day (and likewise for me not seeing them), while remaining at my house only a five minute walk away so they know that I am here in the village still if they need me. I am hoping this acts as a buffer or an intermediary situation before the pending departure. I am trying to do what is best but it's hard to know in times like this. I find myself having an internal monologue that sounds like screaming to go into the center then yelling to stay away followed by moans of agony as I fight back the tears.

Slowly pulling back and now, finally, withdrawing has been incredibly difficult because I want to spend every second of my last days here with the ladies. Removing myself from the center forces the staff to try things that they so often use me as a crutch for. There is no ceremonious way to impart all the knowledge so it must just be employed. I know they have learned it all and they need only to stop holding on to me. They will be okay on their own and they need the opportunity to do just that.

All that being said, I have to wonder if my withdrawing now instead of in a week is more for me or for them? Could it be my way of easing the pain on myself and to be able to witness their success first-hand before I go? It does feel better knowing that I could be there in a minute if they need me. In going back to the moment with George and Harry from the clip, it certainly does feel like bringing them to the beautiful place in the forest where they can stretch and go at it all on their own but yet being able to follow their footsteps for a while to see they made it safely out on their own...

And, In The End, There Were Emotions

I have exactly twenty-two days left in my comfortable little village and only thirteen days left working at my NGO and with the ladies that have become my family in Gabane.

This is an emotional time. 

It just doesn't seem possible that my two years here are up and I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around leaving here. Even though my ticket to America is booked for my home leave and I can see the upcoming date on a calendar, it still doesn't feel real. It is as if my brain has employed a defense mechanism to keep me from feeling the anxiety and heartache of leaving something I love so much. Even if it is just to start something new nearby. I have to consciously remind myself to cherish each moment with the ladies of my NGO, to take the time to do the "secret handshake" with each kid in the pre-school, and to greet each person I meet on the dusty paths around Gabane. In a matter of days it will all be a memory. When I think about how fast two years went, it is overwhelming (even heartbreaking) to think how fast these last few days will likely go.

This is also a time when I am pushing to get projects and things finished but also trying to disconnect from the work in a more meaningful way. This is something I have blogged about a lot - the idea of true sustainable development. Of course, I have things I want to get done and see through here before I go. For example, the house building project is complete but the sanitation component - the pit latrine - is not quite finished yet. Same goes for some aspects of my organizational development project at the NGO. But, at the same time, I need to back away and make sure the ladies can do everything on their own. I need to observe them and support them in their own personal development if the things we have worked so hard on are to be sustainable. And, so far, they are.

I have watched the ladies take ownership of projects and work diligently to get the financial systems in place or to improve the teaching curriculum and our reports. The Board of Governors has finally been elected and they are taking an active role in helping scale up our operation. The members are coming to the office and conducting their own mini trainings and helping the ladies network with local people who can assist them. Local people helping local people to help the local community. This is a huge accomplishment. I have always said that, as a capacity builder and development worker, if I am able to make my job obsolete and unnecessary because the staff and community are able to do it on their own, then I have done my job well. Being able to witness this happening first-hand is bringing me peace and soothing some of the sorrow of leaving as I hesitantly look forward to the end of this chapter.

Saying goodbye is probably one of the hardest things anyone can do. This is a time filled with that - goodbyes to my fellow Bots 10s as they embark on their next adventures (on their own), goodbyes to my village and my work, and goodbyes to a life where I could be anything I wanted on any given day of the week (a farmer, a social worker, a teacher, a consultant, an accountant, a youth leader, an artist, and so on). Goodbyes are made harder when you deeply love all the things you are bidding adieu. And that is where we stand now.

For me, this goodbye is also met with some exciting hellos - to a new life, to a new job, to new challenges, to new faces. There is glory and elation and vitality in moving forward from something achieved and towards the great unknown. It is, after all, how I got to this place in my life that has become so special to me.

I am going to try and take the next twenty-two days to "hug" this world I am in now and shower it with all my love. I want to feel the emotions of it all and embrace them. I want to leave all of who I am right now in the sand of my village and with the people who have helped me grow here so that I can start this next chapter in Botswana anew.

The House is BUILT!

Today marks a collosal achievement in this Peace Corps Volunteer's service! Why? Because the project I have been working on to build a house for a destitute family of ten is finally complete! Yes, that's right folks, THE HOUSE IS BUILT!!! It is a little later than we expected but it is finally finished. Getting this family into a home has been such a huge project and required a collaborative effort within my village as well as local and international support. I can tell you that it has all been worth it!

The house has five rooms (which is a mansion compared to the previous one-room structure they were all living in before) and a covered outdoor cooking area. Plus, the mattresses I got donated are all inside the house now so the kids have a cozy place to sleep at night. This family now has a place to call "home" (just in time for winter). What's more, the family is so grateful for and amazed by their new home that they have actually opened their doors and invited other children who didn't have a place to live to stay with them. Generosity certainly does seem to breed generosity.

I am so happy that I could literally cry. This is a tangible achievement and something that I will be forever proud of.

Last Site Visit in Gabane

On Monday I had my last official site visit with Peace Corps staff at my NGO in Gabane. My Program Manager and Training Assistant came out to the village to meet with me and the staff to discuss my work and my contributions to the NGO. Traditionally, this meeting is conducted in three parts: one where I meet with PC staff by myself to discuss issues I have had, another where the NGO staff meet with PC staff alone, and finally all of us as one. We opted, however, to do the entire meeting together because we feel that our relationship allows for openness, honesty, and transparency and didn't need the "secret meetings". I am grateful that we decided this way because it allowed me to hear the sentiments of the women I have been working with for so long.

Although the ladies and I are not shy about sharing our feelings and often compliment each other on jobs well done, they said some of the nicest things to the Peace Corps staff about me - things that I hadn't even realized I had helped them with. For example, our Center Coordinator told Peace Corps that, before I came, they had never worked off of a plan and just did things day-to-day. She said that, when discussing the work that we have to do, I am always saying "lets make a plan" so now they know how important it is to do that and they feel they are able to accomplish more because of it. (I didn't even realize I say "lets make a plan" so much, let alone that it had a positive impact on them!) She also said that I am the best teacher they have ever had. This is a huge compliment as she's a teacher herself with over thirty years experience in the field! She went on to justify this statement by saying that I explain things in a way that highlights their strengths so they feel confident and like they can succeed, that they can always feel my love for them, and that they feel encouraged to try harder and accomplish more on their own than they ever thought possible before because of this.

Hearing their kind words made me feel so great about my service in a way that I cannot yet articulate clearly. All I can say is this: when asked by Peace Corps staff at the onset of the meeting, before the ladies were even asked anything yet, what I felt has been my greatest accomplishment of my service, I told them that "...There are many tangible projects and things I can point to that define my service but what I feel most proud of is the confidence and skills developed by the ladies I work with. Their passion and dedication to the organization was always evident but they are also strong and capable and are finally seeing it for themselves and putting their knowledge to use to help so many people. If I helped them get to this point in some way then I feel that is my biggest accomplishment. They are more than colleagues - they are my family and friends here - and watching them succeed has been more meaningful than I could have ever hoped for."

The things they said that followed my statement bring more profundity, depth, and value to my service. For the first time in my professional career, I genuinely feel like I have made a difference. And that difference goes deeper than in the workplace because it is about the people. It is a change that is profound in me, in the lives of those I have worked with, and in this whole experience. I will carry this with me forever.

Pelegano Village Industries

I love Gabane. I believe it is a very special village and I feel privileged to call it "home". I actually take pride in it. People hear me clamor on and on about all the great things in Gabane and I am constantly inviting people to come and see and experience it all for themselves. Peace Corps Volunteers in Botswana know there is an open invitation to visit me. Among the things I share with all visitors are our community hangout, where people come to braai and relax together, and our artist colony, Pelegano Village Industries.

Pelegano Village Industries (PVI) is a community-based artist colony that houses artists and artisans and showcases their work. Included in the compound is work related to: arts and crafts (pottery, glass art, and fine arts), textiles and embroidery, manufacturing, welding fabrication, and the like. All of the products made are created locally and made by Batswana in the village. Places like this are unique in Botswana, as many of the crafts sold here are brought in from other countries (namely Zimbabwe and Kenya). At PVI, however, you can meet the craftsmen and, if you befriend the right people, try your hand at some pottery or learn a thing or two about textile paints. Watching beautiful creations come to life and chatting freely with those making them is a perfect way to spend an afternoon in Gabane. And, what's more, the proceeds from sales at PVI goes back into local projects like the one at my NGO.

I recently got the opportunity to share this unique experience with a group of fellow Peace Corps Volunteers who came to visit. Some of them were buying souvenirs as they prepare to go home to America after so long living abroad. Others tagged along to see what I had been bragging all about for so long. Regardless of their reason, no one was disappointed in coming.

The PCVs were overwhelmed by the beauty of the crafts and excited to meet the artists. The energy was palpable, both in the PVI compound and among my peers. Getting to come and see all the different crafts and the kind people that make them was exciting for them and seeing their faces light up as they frantically chose items to take home with them was rejuvenating for me.

This is why I rave about Gabane - it is a special place. Now these PCVs get one of the many reasons why I love my village. Those staying in Botswana will be back... with friends (and more pula)!

Water and Power and Smiles, Oh My!

I don't want to jinx it so I am knocking on wood as I write this but, after weeks without, my village once again has power and water! This means that schools have re-opened, clothes are being washed and hung out to dry, and people are no longer looking to the skies and praying for rain. (Of course, I am still hoarding water and urging my friends to do the same just in case the pipes dry out again. I've been tricked into a false sense of security before.) But, at least for now, I am happy to report that all of my electronics are fully charged and my water containers (and bathtub) are filled with water. This is one of those Peace Corps victories that can't be quantified on a resume but that feels like a huge triumph when you're living it...

PULA!

Almost as if the universe realized my village needed a "pick me up" yesterday, it rained. At about 8pm, I heard the thunder roaring from somewhere in the distance and by 10pm, despite not having power, the village lit up with the lightening strikes. And then, at about 1am, the most incredible thing happened. I was awaken by the sound of people laughing and talking. I reached for my glasses and scurried half asleep to the window to see what the commotion was about. It was still pouring rain so it took a minute for my eyes to adjust but, during a lightening flash, I saw it. Dozens of people were outside, singing and laughing and talking merrily, with buckets in their hands! Just as I have done before, the community allowed nature to help them fix a problem that the government could not. And they were joyous. I picked up my bucket and I joined them for a while - giggling and stomping through puddles like a child. It was one of those Peace Corps moments that you just can't beat! PULA!

Water Problems Continue

In America, having potable drinking water and a constant water supply is never a problem. Almost magically, it is there whenever you need it. If you have followed my story, however, then you know this is not the case in Botswana. I have gone months on end without water and have, on occasion, put buckets outside to catch precious rain water. Some of my peers have to walk up to 5km to fill up buckets to carry home because they don't have running water or a water pump nearby. Water is an issue.

Volunteers in Botswana are lucky, though, in that our water has been safe to drink. I have been drinking it straight from the tap for nearly two years and have had no problems at all. That was until recently, when a number of random quality tests were conducted and the water failed to meet US Embassy standards. They advised us that water in my region intended for human consumption should be boiled. Before receiving this statement, I had been having some stomach problems (eww) so I started boiling my water and they ceased. Boiling water is laborious, especially during the heat of summer when all you want is something cold to drink. As of last week, after talking with a health specialist who told me the situation had been cleared up, I have stopped boiling my water. Gratefully, my tummy has not been rattled so I believe she was right and the water is fine now. (After all, the best way to find out is to try it out and my body isn't reacting...) Happy day, right? Wrong. As annoying as it is having to boil water, it pales in comparison to the alternative... no water.

Today the Water Utilities Corporation released the following statement: "The Water Utilities Corporation (WUC) would like to inform residents of Gaborone City and surrounding areas (Mochudi, Gabane, Kumakwane, Mogoditshane, Tlokweng, Lobatse and their surrounding areas) that it is currently experiencing water supply challenges. Due to this, they will experience low pressure to no water at all indefinitely. Residents are advised to wisely use the little available water." INDEFINITELY?! We are going to be without water indefinitely?! To my great dismay (but not to my surprise), this public statement came out AFTER the water cuts arrived in my village, meaning that none of us had the time to prepare. We are already without water and now without means of stocking up. While we all live with water challenges every day, this is incredibly difficult to hear. Although Peace Corps Volunteers hoard water like it's our jobs, there is never enough for our "shorter" week-long outages. It is in these moments when I wish I had a pit latrine because at least then I could go to the bathroom in peace without worrying about using 3L of water to flush... The question then becomes: "What happens to us and to the local communities if the water really is out indefinitely?"

I beg all of you back in America, please cherish every time you turn the faucet on and water comes out and that it is clean water to drink. I will never take those things for granted again.

Students Learn About Life In The Village

A local friend of mine, who is a teacher at an international school in Gaborone, came to me a few weeks back and told me about a unit her class was doing on "children around the world". The aim of the unit was to teach her students about difference and similarities among children in the far reaches of the globe. This lesson was exceptionally pertinent to this class, as her students hail from many continents (all, however, seeming to come from some privilege). She expressed that she wanted her class to learn more about the children in Botswana, of which many had no direct knowledge, and to gain some sense of civil responsibility. We decided that the best way forward was for her class to come to the OVC Pre-School at my NGO and spend a day playing and interacting with the children.

In the weeks leading up to the event, my friend explained to her class about "orphan and vulnerable children status", what life was like in the village as compared to the capital city, the nature of giving back, and the magnitude of even small efforts for those who have so little. In this spirit, her class put on a bake sale to raise money to donate to my NGO and held a drive for clothes, games, toys, and other sundries.

When the day of the event came, the students arrived in a combi followed by a truck full of their collections. It was like Christmas morning for our center! They brought so many things that the staff and children both burst into tears. One by one, the visiting students took giant packages from the truck and laid them before us. It was unmatched by any other donation. In all the time I have been here, I haven't seen such a display of love and generosity. And, I have to state, that since the gifts were brought to our center, the children have been playing with them and learning so much (they have even learned how to do puzzles!). It's been so exciting for all of us.

After some opening remarks by our Coordinator, the children were free to interact and get to know one another.

The visiting students and our children buddied up to either play on the gym equipment outside, to color pictures, or to play soccer or other games in the yard. It was a day full of insurmountable laughter and one that I imagine will not soon be forgotten by anyone present.

Here are pictures from the day's festivities:

Ultimately, this day of fun was one that expanded the hearts and minds of everyone involved. It ended up being more than just a day within a unit for the visiting classroom but encompassed a world of giving of time, resources, things, and of love. Both sets of students learned about gratitude. And we learned that, despite circumstance, we really aren't all that different. After all, everyone likes a good time!

Mirror, Mirror

Mma Leburu:  "Kamogelo, will you please bring your camera to the center tomorrow?"

Me:  "Of course. But why? What are we taking pictures of?"

Mma Leburu:  "I want to show the kids what they look like. They need to learn how to identify themselves."

Me:  "Ooooook? Explain..."

And this is how I learned that most of the orphans that attend my NGO's pre-school don't know what they, themselves, look like. The walls of their homes don't have mirrors to look into and having a personal camera is something they could never imagine. Outside of a fluke reflection of themselves in a passing window, the children have never seen themselves before.

When I took their individual pictures the following day and showed them, their faces lit up in awe and amazement. They would look at me and then look at the picture and then smile huge smiles as they pointed at themselves and called their friends over to see too. Afterwards, I took a series of group pictures of all the kids in the classroom. When it came to the group pictures, the kids had an easier time pointing out their friends than finding themselves. It was like a "Where's Waldo" game but only this time the ever-hiding Waldo was them.

Knowing what you look like is something we all take for granted. At least I did. Like many of my friends, I had floor-length mirrors growing up and could easily nit-pick on the details of my physique, which I knew all too well. Coming to Botswana, this changed drastically. It took a while to adjust to having only a small face-sized mirror and rarely knowing how I looked. But I gave up worrying about a lot of things and I adapted to a simpler life. I now know that even my small mirror is more than what most have here. Oh the things we take for granted...

I told this story and my recent realization to a generous man who stopped by my NGO today. He has agreed to donate mirrors (among other things) to hang at the center so the children can see themselves and begin to recognize who they are. I'll be honest, I can't wait to watch them the first time they witness their own movements. It's going to be a big biiiiiiig day!

HIV Gets Personal

Botswana is a country plagued by HIV. It is estimated that nearly a third of the country is infected, although those of us working at the village level believe this is likely a very conservative estimate. And that doesn't even begin to take into account the devastation the disease has brought on the rest of the populous, most notably the children who are often orphaned and those loved ones who are left to assume the burden. The country has set lofty goals to eradicate the disease but, unfortunately, seems to be falling short. This is why Peace Corps is here. We are here to work in the health sector - improving organization's capacity to help - and to inspire and motivate children and youth to live healthier lives. As such, we meet and befriend many people who are living with HIV.

The work I am doing in Botswana puts me in direct contact with numerous people who are HIV positive. Whether it be through assisting my NGO and the Clinic with improving home-based care services, collaborating with the Support Group on projects, or playing with children affected and infected, I have gotten to know so many individuals whose lives are forever impacted by the disease. It has opened my eyes and my heart in ways I could never have expected. 

That being said, there has always been some semblance of distance. Although they are people that I work with all the time and who I care about, I have been able to look at them as colleagues or smiling children first and let the disease take a backseat. I don't often have to see the deterioration nor experience first-hand its impact. Their HIV status is only one aspect of who these people are and, honestly, it isn't all that important. As long as they are taking care of themselves - adhering to their ARV regimen, eating nutritiously, and being supported by family/friends/caregivers/my NGO - then we can all carry on with our lives as normal. That is, until two weeks ago...

Two weeks ago a very dear friend of mine sent me a text message that said "Kamogelo, I am having a very serious problem. I am not sure when I will be coming back but I need you so I will find you when I return." I frantically tried calling her but she did not answer. I waited (im)patiently for nearly a week before I heard from her. When I did, she assured me that she was okay but that she wanted to talk in person.

With nervous hugs and hand-holding, she carefully told me that her husband of nearly twenty years, who had been very sick lately, underwent a series of tests at a nearby hospital. After ruling out prostate cancer and a slue of other things, he finally succumbed to an HIV test and learned that he is HIV+. In shock, he refused to get his CD4 count read to find out if he should start ARV treatment, despite urging by the doctor and my friend. My friend said that what happened next was an almost psychotic episode by her husband, who left the hospital before he received HIV counseling and demanded they go directly to their lands in the Kalagadi. He then refused to say anything more on the matter, would not discuss his newfound status, and began making ridiculous requests and talking gibberish. This lasted for four days. 

After returning to the village, my friend's husband holed himself away inside the house. He got even more sickly. He continued to refuse counseling or to get his CD4 count tested. My friend begged him to talk about his status with her or with a counselor from the Clinic or with a trusted friend. She hasn't been able to process her own feelings about his new status because she has been so overwhelmed with helping him grapple with it. She is constantly worried about him.

This is the first time I have witnessed this side of HIV - the emotion, the turmoil, and the tragedy before the recognition and acceptance. To listen to my friend talk about the struggles she is going through and how hard it is for her and her husband to come to terms with things has been heart-wrenching. This is someone who I deeply and profoundly love and she is going through something I cannot even fathom and I don't even have any point of reference. Everyone I know who is HIV+ have already come to terms with their illness to the point where it's practically a nonissue. And every time I ask her how she is doing and how she is coping, she (of course) brings the concern back around to her husband. It is devastating to feel so helpless. I can only imagine how they must feel.

I am humbled that she chose me to talk to and believes in our friendship enough to share this burden with her in some way. Right now, all I can offer her is hugs, which she says is enough. 

"Terrific Tuesday" Tales

I entitled this post "Terrific Tuesday Tales" because today's "tales" (i.e. updates) are terrific... and it is Tuesday. Self-explanatory, I suppose, but I felt it warranted pointing out. This is most likely because I felt a desperate need to use an alliteration but wanted to let my readers know there was a reason for it and not just because I'm a great big dork (which I am). (Don't judge me: I worked at a summer camp, I make friendship bracelets with every kid I know, and I hang out with children every day - it's practically a prerequisite to like alliterations and other goofy things!) Honestly, I called the post this because I wanted to very simply "shout out loud" that life in the village is moving ahead terrifically!

For starters, I was awoken this morning by a phone call from my Country Director. He called specifically to discuss my application for extension. He clearly stated that our post is still waiting for funding approval for future extendees from Headquarters in DC and therefore cannot officially issue offers for third year extensions to anyone yet, but that he wanted me to know that my application was very well done and that I am "a highly qualified candidate" for my proposed extension. He went on to say that discussions about placement for all volunteers who are selected will begin as soon as the funding is approved. Knowing more about the process and the stages makes a huge difference for my mental well-being as I approach our COS Conference and look towards the next year. I feel like I can breathe a big sigh of relief knowing that I will likely be continuing the great work being done in Botswana for a third year. (I hope!)

Next, an update on my house-building project. As things so often go, costs of materials have fluctuated (mostly on the upswing), which has caused some delay in purchasing the last of the pieces we need for the house. That being said, we are moving forward with the project and should only be delayed about a week. The cement has been laid for the walls and floors, the windows went in today, the doors and locks (extra heavy duty) should be purchased by Thursday and installed over the weekend, and then all we have left to do is link the pre-existing single-room structure to the newly built home. We are doing this by putting a tin roof cover between the buildings and laying concrete between them. We are also going to construct a small outdoor kitchen in this section. This is a significant improvement for the family, as they have currently been preparing all meals over an open flame outside. Also of improvement, I was able to get mattresses donated for the family. That means that each of those children will have their very own mattress in their new home. Far cry from the blankets they share curled up on the floor right now! Finally, as I mentioned before, the hole for the pit latrine has been dug out and we have purchased the bricks and cement to build the structure. We have manpower together to construct it over the weekend as well. So, barring any further delays, we are hoping the entire structure (sans electricity at this point) will be ready for "handing over" by the end of next week. Wow.

Some months back, I wrote two proposals to a local foundation. I hadn't heard much since submitting them, despite many attempts to follow up with the foundation. That is until this afternoon when my phone rang (yet again) and I answered to find a representative from the foundation on the line. She was calling to inform me that the selection team met earlier this morning to discuss the first of my proposals, which requested a combi (van-like vehicle) to transport the children and patients that are enrolled in programs at my NGO. She went on to state that, after much discussion on my center, they were awarding us our request! This means that my NGO will be getting a shiny new (BRAND NEW) combi! This will help us so much. Not only because our current combi is ancient and costs us a lot in repairs, but also because we have created an income-generating plan for our old combi. Although it has "old car" problems, it's still operational. We are hoping to rent it out for a small daily fee, renters paying for petrol and maintenance, which would be able to go back into programs and increase our sustainability. But, no, the greatness of this phone call does not end here! The foundation representative that called went on to say that a visitor I had hosted at our center spoke highly of our work and our proposal was so well done that they are going to move it to the top of their list to review at their next meeting in May. She insinuated that they already wanted to approve it! The foundation needs to clarify some of their policies on their funding but, if this does happen, my NGO stands to get operational costs, including staff salaries (everyone is unpaid and works voluntarily right now) and two additional staff positions to alleviate the burden and scale up services. Now wouldn't that be a huge leap forward for our center?!

Finally, I am helping to organize an international public service program for a distinguished businessman who contacted me specifically because of the work I have done and asked for my assistance. Although I can't get into the specifics quite yet, the program will be aimed at educating people on grassroots development and hands-on service and hopefully create a global environment for giving back. Stay tuned, especially other PCVs because I may be calling you to host a small gathering or talk at your organizations to discuss the work you and your centers do!

In the words of my NGO's coordinator... "We just have to sing and dance and make a joyful noise!" Today's been a good day!

Capacity Building Gone Right!

The whole point of capacity building is to transfer skills to others so they can do their jobs better and, in the case of NGOs like mine, scale up their systems and better serve their constituents. So, if you have "students" that are actively trying to learn and you are a dedicated "teacher", doing the job well should mean you are no longer needed. After all, if they learned the skills and can use them properly, then your constant presence is unnecessary. That is the goal.

True capacity building is terribly difficult and, often times, Peace Corps Volunteers feel like they are constantly hitting their heads against a wall. Basically, you're asking people to do things above and beyond their preexisting work and they often don't see the rationale or what benefits might come in working extra hard for a while. Plainly, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." And our response to them is that, "just because they can't see the cracks, doesn't mean they don't exist". Try convincing someone to follow you with answers like that! It's TOUGH!

I decided early on in my service that I was going to be steadfast to Peace Corps' approach to development: "helping people develop the capacity to improve their own lives". This meant focusing on the development of people and not things. And it also meant that I wasn't going to do things on my own just because it would be easier (and much faster) that way. I was going to take the long road and do everything step-by-step with the people that I work with to ensure they learned what they were doing. Even if that meant spending hours going over and over and over the same things and taking the time to hand-write instruction manuals for even the simplest of tasks. (Yes, I even put a "ON/OFF" sticker on the power button on the computer and everything moved forward from there...)

I have had relative success in capacity building at my NGO, mostly in terms of systems strengthening. I think that is due, at least in part, to the fact that I have been patient in explaining things to the staff and have demanded they participate in every single thing that I do there. They are learning the skills to do everything from typing to drafting reports to financial management and administration and they are gaining the confidence in themselves to carry out their tasks. (I make a big fuss over them when they remember how to "align right" or enter something into QuickBooks. They laugh and cheer themselves on and feel proud of themselves for their accomplishments. In turn, I believe it also inspires them to keep trying.)

Just this week, there have been a number of huge examples of the success of capacity building at the center. I am like a "proud mom" because I can see how much all of our hard work (theirs and mine) is paying off. So here we go:

The ladies at the NGO successfully put together their very first financial report. This meant going through an entire year's worth of receipts and bank statements, organizing them by category and entering them into the computer, tabulating results, and building charts.

The center had its very first Annual Meeting where the staff presented their very first Annual Report. Although I helped with the report, the ladies presented it on their own and fielded all of the questions from the Executive and General Committees. (We spent days prepping for every possible question and brainstorming solutions. The ladies took the initiative on this end and even worked extra hours to get ready.) 

The Administrative Officer at the center installed the ink into our new printer, typed up multiple letters, and printed them off all on her own. I wasn't even present for any of these actions. This may not seem like a huge deal but, less than a year ago, she couldn't even turn on a computer.

They have learned the definition of "promptness" and are using it in their lives. This is no small feat. "African time" is very real and has been a frustration of mine throughout my service. Today, when I told the ladies I would be at the center "around 8am", which in the past would have allowed me to stroll in any time up until 10am, garnered me a phone call at 8:01 because I wasn't there yet and they were ready and waiting to get started on projects.

When I first arrived at the NGO in February 2012, I recognized a need for better communication among the staff. I started bringing the staff together for meetings. It was a time, I explained, to share about projects, successes, and problems; to brainstorm; to discuss policy changes; and so on. I was informed by the Center Coordinator today that she had called for a staff meeting. She apologized because it would be during a time when I was scheduled to be at one of the schools but assured me that she could facilitate it on her own. She then handed me a typed agenda for the meeting. I scanned the agenda and asked her if she felt confident in bringing up and explaining some of the policy changes she was calling for. She said that she was because she understood the reasons for them and was sure that she could tell the staff in such a way that they would understand as well.

Whoa! What a week worth of successes! Now that's capacity building gone right! It's such an awesome thing to see your need slowly start to fade away... And it definitely makes it easier looking ahead to leaving. It's a relief and such an amazing feeling to finally feel like they are getting it! :-D

Quick Update: Pit Latrine DUG!

I wanted to give a very quick update on the House Building Project, mostly because there is progress! As of this afternoon, the hole for the pit latrine has been dug out! YAY! That's a huge process and absolutely vital for the success of a pit latrine. (I mean, imagine if you didn't have the super deep hole for the poo to go?!) The bricks for the structure are being delivered over the weekend and the entire pit latrine should be constructed by next week! Double YAY! And then this family will finally be able to go to the bathroom on their own compound and in an actual toilet. I am so beside myself with excitement right now. This is another huge success for this Peace Corps Volunteer!

Gardening success!!!

If you have been following along, you will know that my NGO's garden was tripled in size in October as a result of a partnerships with the Office of the President. There was a big event, complete with speeches, presentations of donations, a massive community service day, and attendance by His Excellency Seretse Khama Ian Khama and his entire cabinet. It was absolutely remarkable. And I am here today to let all the good people out there know that the efforts made on that day were not in vain.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, Gabane Home-Based Care sold its very first stock of vegetables to the community! In fact, we produced so many vegetables that we were able to feed our children, provide our most needy patients with food, and still have enough left over to put up a stand down by the combi rank to sell an abundance of extras. Not only that, but after cleaning all the vegetables and preparing them for sale, we added up how much we stand to make. I won't get into exact figures but our profits should be enough to buy all new seeds to re-plant, some saplings to continue planting our fruit tree orchard, and still have money left over to put back into our programs! Now if that's not a success then I don't know what is! Hooray!

Hard Work, Final Push, and a Break

I am in the home stretch, so to speak, of my work in Gabane. Our Close of Service Conference is just over a month away and then begins our final "lockdown" period. From that point, we are supposed to be observing our agencies utilizing the skills we have taught them and closing down our projects, rather than implementing new things. As capacity builders, this is important for us to ensure that we have successfully imparted skills to our host country counterparts. I have discussed this eventuality with the staff at my NGO at great length, preparing them and encouraging them to keep striving to learn.

Yesterday, the NGO's coordinator and I talked about this looming date once again. I think it was a big eye-opener for her, realizing that the date is fast approaching. We set to work outlining all of the things we still want to accomplish before then. It is a daunting list with more than a few big picture projects left on the agenda. To keep us focused, we decided to make a wall-sized calendar and work plan -constant reminders of the things we have set out to do and a timeframe to do them in.

This morning, I came to the office bright and early with large pieces of paper to make into a floor-to-ceiling wall calendar. I had drafted priority lists for our programs (utilizing our new strategic plan!!) throughout the evening and was set to get down to business. The ladies, as they slowly trickled into the center, were curious (and speculative) about my determination and the project before them. Hadn't this been discussed yesterday and agreed upon? I continued on, explaining as I went what I was doing, why I was doing it, and how we were going to accomplish everything (or at least get started) in the next six weeks. The ladies sat before the new calendar and nervously chuckled and spat words of apprehension.

Before long, we were talking together and solidifying the plans. They kept asking if I could stay with them at the center longer to help them get through these lists. I constantly reassured them that they had many of the skills to do it themselves but that I would be here for some time still to guide them. We then set to work on the first of many tasks...

About three and a half hours later, after tireless work (i.e. no tea break), the ladies stopped and looked at me and said "Kamogelo, we are working too hard. I think you should go home so we can take a break." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my calendar of objectives and deadlines put stress on the ladies to the point that they realized the kind of work they wanted to do so they did not pause for tea (an oversight due to diligence and earnest on all of our behalves) and became so overwhelmed that they felt I had to actually leave the center in order to get a breather! Whoops! But, before I left, they were sure to sit down with me and discuss what needed to be done next. And they want to get started as soon as the doors open tomorrow.

In the end, I consider it a success. It is important to look ahead and make a plan and that is something that has been lacking here. So, in putting up the calendar and showing them exactly what needs to be done, I issued them a challenge and it's one they have accepted. I truly believe that, in seeing the work that lay before them, the ladies will accomplish more and feel more confident and successful. Plus, I got an afternoon off guilt-free! :)

House Building Project Update

Last week we finalized the paperwork to move forward with the house building project. This meant meeting with the Kgosi to authorize (and ensure) inheritance of the plot and its structures to the children and grandchildren when the mother eventually passes and then submitting the forms with the land board. This was of utmost importance to me before continuing the construction, primarily because I want to make sure the young ones do not get overpowered by long lost relatives or anyone else who might sweep in during the 11th hour and leave the kids even more destitute. Fortunately, we were successful in getting everything organized and officially filed so it was all systems go on the project over the weekend!

The interior of the house has been plastered and the doors have been ordered. Painting and installation of windows, doors, and so forth is set for some time within the next two weeks. If our financial resources hold out, it looks like we will also be able to get the house wired for electricity. In total, the house should be ready for the family to be moved in by Valentine's Day! Now that's what I call a "gift of love"!

This is a collosal achievement - building a home for this family will improve their lives beyond measure. This is possible because of the kind, generous, and wonderful support of the Gabane and American communities who have pledged so much. I will forever be grateful to each person who shared in this project.