Reconnecting in the Motherland: A Mother and Daughter's Story

I have been asked countless times what was the best part of my mom's trip to Southern Africa. Of course, having road tripped thousands of kilometers to visit three countries has a lot of perks to it. We got to spend time at my boyfriend's family's farm; bask in Mozambican sun; snorkel at the mouth of the Indian Ocean; see lions, cheetahs, and wild dogs; get caught up in a glorious African thunderstorm; and explore the history of South Africa. We ate delicious food and drank jugs of wine. There were so many things to share and stories to tell about my mom's trip here. But, when I took the time to really think about what made her trip so special, I have to admit that it was a very simple answer: the quality time we got to spend together, reconnecting.

Despite talking over instant messenger or email almost every day, living 8,000 miles away from my mom has been one of the harder things about living abroad. We are incredibly close - even having lived together in adulthood (which is totally different, fyi) - and that type of connection is hard to facilitate over the internet. Typing fatigue is real, as are time differences and bad internet. And, honestly, sometimes you just want a great big hug from your mama! So the time we were able to spend just talking, laughing, and getting to really truly catch up was amazing beyond words. You forget sometimes, when you get overcome by your own life, how important that is. Her trip was a reminder and it made me feel whole again.

Reconnecting like that was also important because it brought me back to the core of who I am. It connected the changes in me with the beauty of my past. It brought my lives together, sewing them up, and giving me confidence in ways I cannot fully explain. The last time my mom came, it felt validating, like the whole Peace Corps experience was real and I hadn't imagined it. This time, it was that who I have become is real. That was a very powerful thing to realize.

When asked what the best part of my recent travels around Southern Africa was, I have to say "my mom". But the rest of the adventures weren't half bad either...

Cheers to grand adventures with great people!

Africa, Meet Mom: Reunion Edition

In exactly two weeks, mother and daughter will be reunited in the land of zebras and sand!

We will embark on a two week adventure that will take us from around southern Botswana to South Africa and finally to Mozambique. The beaches and wildlife are a perk to the main attraction - we will be together! Talk about lighting up a girl's life! I can't wait!

Homesickness

I don't often express feelings of homesickness. Perhaps this is because I have felt so blessed to be in Botswana and to be doing the work I am able to do here so it seemed petty to talk about being homesick. After all, I signed up for this, I even extended my contract to stay, so any longing for home is of my own making. But today I feel like sharing that homesickness does not evade me, even if I rarely mention it.

So why am I choosing to talk about it now? In part for future Peace Corps Volunteers so they know it is normal to feel homesick. Even if you love your life, as I do, there will be days when you miss home and that is okay. In part for posterity. This blog is a documentary of my experience in Botswana and homesickness is part of that tale. And, finally, in part to explain a few things that I have been mulling over these passed months...

During Pre-Service Training (PST), we tell trainees that it's important to live firmly in this world and to avoid trying to straddle two places at once. Basically, we tell them that it will be important to detach somewhat from their lives in America and to start forging strong connections in their host country. This really is an effective method because it helps ground you - you gain strength and independence, you push yourself, and you bond with your cohort. Your cohort will be the people that genuinely understand what you are going through and will be your sounding board, your shoulder to lean on, and your loudest fans since they understand the value of even small successes. Not to mention, your cohort is in the same time zone as you are so it makes talking to them all the easier!

So what happens when your cohort goes home? This is exactly what happens when you extend your service - your biggest support system in country, the people that you grew to love and respect and see as your allies in Peace Corps, are no longer there. That is trying on a psyche. You have to learn how to navigate this experience in a new way. While you remain deeply grateful to everyone that has remained an active part of your extension year, you become increasingly aware of the distance and, surprisingly, to the fact that people are moving forward in their lives. Looking at the photos your cohort uploads is different now since they no longer resemble your own - pictures of small children are replaced with new pets and hiking spots. You are happy for them, just as you were happy for the friends you left before, but there's a new sting to it.

And what happens when you allow yourself to start looking ahead to jobs and returning home because that actual date starts looming ever closer? Well, you stop heeding the advice of fifty-one years of Peace Corps Volunteers before you and start straddling two worlds again. As you're roasting away in over 100 degree weather, you daydream about snowboarding and snowmen and snow days. As you spend quiet nights at home with a book or your favorite new television show (The Newsroom), you also tab through photographs from three and four years ago with friends who don't even live in that town anymore and think about how great those times were (even if you know they wouldn't be the same today). You allow yourself to miss things and you lose focus on all of the greatness of living and working abroad. In a country that you love, no less.

This is where I sit today, pondering all those things as I watch the rains clear from outside my window. The sun is shining and there is beauty all around me.

Somehow even just typing this has been cathartic. It has reminded me that I have a conscious choice about my own happiness and my own thoughts. And this is the cycle of a Peace Corps Volunteer and of a development worker living abroad. It is a constant rededication to the cause and to yourself. It is important not to forget where you come from because that is where you gained the power and strength of conviction to come this far. Being homesick means you had a life that was worth longing for. That is something to be grateful for and to be embraced. What matters most is how you move forward. I have six months left of my extension contract and I intend to focus on Botswana - on the work and on life - so that, one day, when my mind wanders back here, I will be homesick for this country too.

Reflections And Thanks Given

Growing up, my parents told me countless stories of their lives that both captivated me in awe and amazement and which inspired me to do and be more. I heard about road trips and incredible jobs and travels and wild adventures. They spared few details - a fact I respected them for - and I laughed when their stories took a turn for the bizarre and smiled with every new tale. They were daring and pushed themselves. I remember knowing from a very young age that I had the coolest parents on the planet. This, I resolved, was undoubtable. I wanted to be just like them.

I wanted to have stories of my own to tell. Ones that would make my personal narrative hold memories and adventures that rivaled theirs. I wanted a glimpse at the full and vibrant life that my parents had shared with me. Their bravery to go and do and see everything gave me the strength to challenge myself too. They were my heroes for living their lives to their greatest extent. That is how I always felt, and continue to feel, about them.

Being raised by these two very adventurous and fun-loving parents who came of age in the '60s, it was inevitable that I would be a perpetual "flower child". The ideals I was raised with gave me a sense of purpose and a deep respect for community. Peace, love, and happiness were the end goal. If you could get there by dancing to the beat of a different drum (perhaps an African drum), then all the better. And it is because of them that I am where I am now and can tell so many great tales.

I am living in Africa. I have traveled halfway around the world and back. I have gotten up close and personal with elephants and lions, quad biked on the sand dunes, and out ran a hippo. I have explored Israel, sailed through the Bosporus, danced with strangers into the early morning in Istanbul, scuba dived with 300 pound groupers, and backpacked around Europe. I have lived without water and electricity and among some of the scariest creepy crawlies imaginable. And I have raised over one million pula in donations for agencies around Botswana. I have many stories to tell now... And sometimes it feels like my life is just beginning.

This post is a dedication of these stories and a tribute to my parents. They are a reflection of you and what you inspired me to do with my life. I am beyond grateful that you chose to share your exciting lives with me and pushed me to go out and live mine to the fullest. Thank you. Because of you I will never wonder what could have been but rather be able to say "This one time in..."

Special Home Leave

Going home was everything I had hoped it would be and more (with only very few of my "worries" coming to fruition - yay!). It was a time to reconnect with family and friends and to share about my experiences over the last two years and about this culture and people that I love so much. I was overwhelmed at times - by the sheer magnitude of "stuff" in America and by the outpouring of love - but felt so connected and welcomed. And, honestly, it was amazing to have hot water come out of the faucet every time and to be able to simultaneously do laundry, wash dishes, and sit outside on the porch (i.e. not do everything by hand). Oh technology!

I could launch into a hundred stories about turning thirty, going to Art Fest, drinking coffee with my mama, windy beaches and eating too many tacos, long conversations over wine, naked bike riders (Solstice Festival), or nights out with friends. But pictures really do say it all so I am just going to share a sampling of my favorites from my five weeks spent across New York, Washington, and California. It really was an amazing time.

Thank you to everyone that was a part of my home leave in between my two years of service and my extension year. I cherish every moment that I got to spend with you and am sincerely grateful to have you in my life. Each person pictured here, each little note or text message I received, and so many more are what makes my life so special. Thank you.