Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Choose To Smile

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Despite all of my hard work at my agency this past year (tripling our grant funding, developing a marketing strategy that increased enrollment in our fatherhood education program by 100%, and coordinating our free legal clinic for low-income families), I was told yesterday that my position was being cut back to part-time. Of course, I was really upset - I was frustrated, irritated, disappointed, and crushed. I cried a little bit and then I freaked out about money, bills, saving, etc. I ran the gamut of emotions. I have done a lot for this agency and have stayed the course through all the ups and downs these last four years and could hardly believe this was how I was being repaid. (Ha, funny, "paid"!) I left the office not knowing how all of this would work out or what I was going to do.

In the light of a new day (and being true to my new years resolution), I feel like this could almost be a blessing. I have accomplished a lot in my job, there is nowhere else for me to go in this position, and I am planning on leaving in a few months to start a new journey with the Peace Corps anyway. I can rearrange my student loan payments, I can cut back on some spending, but I can never get this time back. I absolutely refuse to spend any more of my time fretting and dwelling on this. I have been successful in my work and now I am getting a chance to finish some projects while also taking some extra time to enjoy life.

I plan to use this extra time to do the things I love - to go snowboarding, to ride horses, to volunteer, and to spend time with my family and friends. I am rejuvenated and ready to accept this new fate and make the most of it.

So I'm sitting at my desk with a big cup of coffee, listening to my music just "a little" too loud, planning my snowboarding adventure for tomorrow, and smiling because they have no idea how much they are going to miss me when I'm gone.  :)


  1. LOVE it!! This post made me smile! I'm excited for you to have Friday's off and a little jealous, however I do like having the Friday paycheck. But considering you have a season pass to the mountain and haven't been going NEARLY enough means Friday's off is a blessing from the snowboard gods. Enjoy that time and spend it with friends (or come visit me), and do some Tija time before you give yourself up for 2 years to change the world.

  2. Tija, you're the bomb. They'll miss you for sure. Use this time to pamper yourself and get ready for the next adventure!

  3. I love your outlook on life. I just came across your blog through PCJ and read the whole thing. The post on RAS made me laugh, but it also concerned me as I might have already contracted it.

    My application hasn't even been submitted yet!

    Can't wait to read more of your posts, and I agree with those who know you well (like your mom). You seem like an amazing applicant who will have countries clamoring over each other to get you there. My fingers are crossed for you and my heart goes out to you as you await placement.

  4. It's great that you found the silver lining! Now you'll just have a bunch of extra time to spend with family and friends before leaving. :)

  5. Thank you to all of you who have supported me and encouraged me through all of this! It has meant a lot and has definitely helped me get to the silver lining quicker! (Phew!)

    And Caity, I understand getting RAS before the application is submitted! I have been itching to apply for six years and then I finally did it so my RAS began long before the process started! I can tell you honestly that RAS comes and goes throughout the process. It will all be worth it in the end though! And thanks for the vote of confidence! :)