Tonight's yoga class gave me an overwhelming sense of powerfulness and gratefulness and I wanted to share in the hopes that the feeling will spread to others.
For almost a year I have felt like I couldn't breathe a whole breath in. This is something I struggled with after my dad died but I had healed most of those wounds. This felt different. Honestly, I have generally been pretty happy and have very little to complain about but I obviously had a lot to let go of still. Well, somewhere in the midst of Surya Namaksara B I took a deep breath and realized I was able to fill my whole lungs. I felt empowered. By the hundredth chataranga, when I normally would be getting tired, I found myself pushing for more and feeling stronger. I couldn't help but smile because it felt like mile 12 of a half marathon when the end is finally in sight and you take a deep breath and just go for it. It felt amazing. So grateful.
I found myself feeling grateful for others too. I heard my fellow yogis breathing and I felt grateful that they had oxygen to fill their lungs. I heard a tummy rumble and I was grateful their bodies worked and they had food to eat. And by the time we took rest it had become less about me and I was grateful for all the things that filled the room - the people, the warmth, the energy. It felt like a hug from a long lost friend.
It takes more than motivation and passion to accomplish great things. The strength to do it has to come from within. I needed to find this "friend" again, this more powerful and grateful version of myself, in order to truly make a difference. Tonight was a step at getting that inner strength back. I can breathe again. I am so grateful.