L'shanah tova!

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. I have spent all week (and much of the previous one) explaining the holiday, its history and traditions, to host country nationals and fellow Peace Corps Volunteers. It has been well received and many have joined me in celebrating and honoring this day. I am grateful to be able to practice (and share) my Jewish faith even while I'm halfway around the world.

One of the things I like most about Rosh Hashanah is the opportunity to reflect on the past year and contemplate the binds that held me back so that I can move forward into an even more fruitful new year. The idea of rebirth and new life is a great one. So here is my reflection for you all: In this past year, I have started a magnificent journey full of ups and downs and uncertainties and challenges and rewards. I have had to let go of many of my preconceived notions of things and be open to significant change in myself. This has been met with resistance, fear, solace, and finally contentment. I am only now learning some very valuable things about myself. Although I have alluded to it in the past, one of these great binds is that I feel like I need to fulfill expectations. This means that sometimes I refrain from doing things because I am unsure of what the end result should look like (so I don't know what I'm working towards). This next year provides me with the perfect opportunity to just do things because Peace Corps service is all about unknowns, trial and error, exploration, and creating your own path and destiny. No one really knows what your service is "supposed to" look like or what it's going to look like in the end. It's liberating and I intend to let go of this bind and be liberated by it.

So, on this day, I would like to wish all of my family and friends a sweet new year filled with health, happiness, and peace. And the freedom to let go of the things that are holding you back so that you can have the best year (and life) possible. L'shanah tova!

Potential for the NGO (And Other Projects)

Garden Project Team: First Planting

As of Monday afternoon, my NGO has opened its doors as a place for the village children, in particular the OVC, to go to and play. The staff are taking turns coming in to oversee the facility and watch out for the kids as they play on the jungle gym or kick a football around. Much to my dismay, the psychosocial support programs for the OVC are not able to resume as of yet but at least the children have a place to go and an outlet. It's a start and I'm grateful for that much. Additionally, programs aimed at educating community members about the risks associated with Multiple Concurrent Partnerships (MCP) (a common practice in Botswana) are going strong, with the NGO hosting a successful workshop this week. (The MCP Team is only a dozen or so people short of reaching this quarter's target and we're scrambling to put another discussion or workshop together before the end of the month in an attempt to reach the goal.) Not only that, but the NGO's Garden Project is still going strong. At the end of last week, we had a team of nine Batswana come out to do work on the garden, successfully planting beetroot, rape, and tomatoes. The fruit trees did not come in yet so the holes are still waiting to be filled but we're well on our way to having our first crops! There is definite promise and I'm excited to see what will happen in the upcoming weeks and months for the NGO!

In other news, my secondary projects are looking might fine as well. Two days ago I went to Moshupa to meet with the Red Cross about Kids Club and then to venture to the Junior and Senior Secondary Schools with the PCV in the village to discuss presenting STEPS films to the students. The films would discuss issues ranging from HIV/AIDS, condom use, MCP, and so on. I am happy to say we received approval from the schools to show the films and to facilitate discussions afterwards with the students. We will start doing them on a monthly basis in October. I believe that reaching the youth will have the greatest impact and is a truly worthwhile way to spend my time in Botswana. 

Also, today was the Debate Club's first official debate in front of the students at the Kumakwane Primary School. As I mentioned before, the students chose to debate corporal punishment (a hot button topic here). I was so proud of them today as they went front and center in front of their peers and beautifully articulated their arguments. They were poised and confident. And, after the debate, they were beaming. There was a sense of accomplishment and great pride in each of them. They were the first debate team, they did it, and they were revered. (Not to mention that the rest of the kids wanted to emulate them. They all started to do our "secret handshake", which the other PCV in my village and I had taught the Debate Club.) I can't wait to get more kids involved and start helping them become critical thinkers and on the road to a great future. 

It's an exciting time right now, filled with so much potential.

Boys will be boys (whatever that means)

In the United States, there is a school of thought that believes little boys should play with trucks and little girls with dolls. There is a stigma against children that behave outside their stereotypical norm. In Botswana, however, that is just not the case.

In Botswana, you will see grown men walking around holding hands with their male friends, girls shave their heads, pink is a universal beanie color, and little boys want their fingernails painted (see photo to the right, that's Elijah and he wants his nails repainted almost every day). There are no pre-conceived notions about things like this. It frees people to be however they want to be without the assumption there is something behind it.

It is true, however, that Botswana is not as progressive when it comes to sexual orientation as it is to freedom of expression but it's on the right track. I am watching things change and befriending the people that will see it through. It's a privilege to be around children that are growing up with this kind of openness (and gives me hope that they will become adults that are as free-thinking and accepting).

So, until I am told otherwise, I will continue to paint Elijah's nails and the nails of his posse of male and female friends because look at the smile on that face!

Take The Chance... Go For It

Update on My Work at Site

I have deliberately been delaying my update about my primary project with the NGO because I had nothing positive to report. In truth, two weeks ago the organization officially closed its doors with no promise of reopening them in the near future. Since then, I have been going to the office and sitting on the steps of the preschool and trying to talk with the staff about what needs to be done to get up and running again. My sense of urgency was lost on the staff, as my gentle prodding, mild threats, and Jewish guilt did nothing to motivate them. In the interest of capacity building and sustainability (and not doing it myself), I had decided that I would wait it out and see what the staff did. Sadly, what that looked like was them not coming into the office, beginning to search for new jobs, and not doing a whole lot about the NGO. I was disheartened. Despite the complications we have been facing, I believe so strongly in the staff's abilities and whole-heartedly want to get the NGO back up and running for the children (that's what it's really all about anyway).

Yesterday morning I called my counterpart to see if he was back from his home village (where he's been spending a lot of time since the NGO closed) and he said that he was and that he was at the NGO. I half ran down the road from my house to the NGO in hopes of seizing this opportunity and getting to put my two bits in about what needs to be done. (Here's where things start taking a turn for the better...) Together with some other staff members that were in, we decided that we would encourage parents and caretakers to pack lunches for the children and coordinate their own transportation to the center and, in turn, staff would take turns volunteering one day a week to teach preschool to the OVCs. Besides helping the kids continue learning, this would also give us an opportunity to check on the orphans and make sure they are still doing okay (and adhering to ARVs in cases of HIV+ children). I am drafting a Volunteer Staff Contract to make sure that staff fulfill their commitments and it's still up in the air as to if the children will be coming with food (or coming at all since we cannot provide them with transport at this time) but, as of Monday, we will be opening back up on a volunteer basis! This is obviously good news for the children but it is also good news for me because it means that I am guaranteed at least one staff member to be there each day and I can utilize them to start working on proposals (which could hopefully get us the funding we need to offer the rest of the programs and offer paid positions to the counselors, teachers, and staff). It's a small small step but it is something and I value those little victories the most these days!

Speaking of little victories... I have two more to share about my life at site.

1. Tomorrow I will be planting the fruit tree saplings in our garden! (Remember, the garden is going to support and feed the orphans and those infected and affected with HIV/AIDS.) It will be the first thing to be planted and will most likely be one of the most important and long-lasting contributions I will make to Kumakwane. We are planting orange trees, mango trees, and peach trees. Of all the things I could do in Botswana, this feels like one of the most stereotypical Peace Corps-esque contributions but I feel so good about it. I literally squealed when I heard the saplings were getting delivered.

2. I have started working at the Kumakwane Primary School. I will be teaching English and co-facilitating the English Club with the other PCV in my village. In today's club, we worked with standard 5 and 6 students (around ages 10 to 13). What we decided to do was teach them about debates and have them practice arguing points. The rationale behind this was that it would help the students learn critical thinking skills and make them more articulate and cognizant (and ultimately give them their own voice). We explained the concepts to the students and asked them what they would like to debate. They decided (on their own) that they wanted to explore Corporal Punishment, which is a huge issue in Botswana. We first explored the sides as a group and then broke into two groups to delve deeper into the arguments. After the first few minutes feeling somewhat uncomfortable talking freely about the issues, the students opened up and identified some really high-level and poignant points. In formulating arguments, they discussed such things as: depression, suicide, self-esteem, HIV/AIDS, abuse, and so on. (I was impressed by their thought patterns and knowledge of the issues once they felt confident enough with us to discuss them. It was magnificent to watch.) They are going to continue researching and exploring the arguments and we will meet again on Monday to practice actual debates. Then, next week Wednesday, we will do the debate for the school so that all of the students may benefit from the work these students have put in. It is something that I feel can be extremely beneficial and I am beyond excited to start working with these students.

In the end, I am really happy that I waited to give an update because I am now optimistic about things at site. The projects that I am working with have some real value and I am encouraged. (Family, as I type this, the clock just turned to 4:44. Good sign? I think so!)

Perplexing Botswana Observation #17

Yes, I do realize that I am bouncing around as I declare my perplexing observations (with my previous pronouncement being #586) but, like I said before, I have plenty of time to share them all so fret not! This is actually something I noticed during homestay that really baffled me and I had meant to share it at the time but was overwhelmed by everything else and failed. So here it is... People here eat bones.

I will give all of my American followers a moment to digest that statement (get it, digest, hehe)...

Now imagine that you're sitting with a group of people eating chicken. Generally, Americans will eat the meat off of the bone and then put the bone down on their plate with the intention of throwing it away later. I was startled on one of my first nights in Botswana when I noticed this was not the case here. Rather than reach for a wing when my host dad finished his drumstick, he chomped down on the bone and began to gnaw away at it. I kid you not. Nom nom nom, just like that. When I inquired, everyone in the family said it was "very nice" and soon they were all eating away at the bones. And then I learned it was not just my host family that did this but basically all Batswana. My Language and Culture Facilitator (LCF) also stated how delectable bone is and the staff at my NGO are always going to town on what I thought were throw-away scraps and questioning me on my reasons for not. (Um, how can I explain this? It's a bone!)

Now, besides the peculiarity of eating bones, I would have also thought it'd be somewhat dangerous considering how strong bones are and how delicate innards are but I see very old Batswana wandering around so it seems they haven't died of internal bleeding from bone shards. Wow. (Note: they also feed bones to the dogs, which is something I was told my whole life not to do because it was a choking, bleeding, potential death hazard... dogs are also quite alive and well here despite this act.)

Overall, it's quite perplexing to me. I mean, who woulda thought?!

The Return of the Creepy Crawlies

Confession time: I obsessively clean my house. There is no other way to describe it. I am constantly finding dust or dirt that can be swept up or realigning or realphabetizing something (yes, my books are in alphabetical order and my clothes line up according to the rainbow, don't judge). I do this for a number of reasons. First, I like order. Second, because I have a lot of time on my hands so I occupy it accordingly. Lastly, and probably most importantly, because I don't want bugs in my house. (Have you heard about camel spiders?! They are real... they freak me out... and they are in Botswana!)

The bugs in Botswana are back! It's getting hot outside and they are seeking refuge from the elements... in my house. Despite my best efforts, the little buggers (hehe) are making their way into my personal space. It started out with a few cute little spiders, which I calmly transported to their home environment outdoors. Then it was some sort of funky mutant bug that I swept out my front door. That was followed by something that I can't describe that I scared so badly that it ran out through a vent in my living room. All of this I was okay with. I knew there would be bugs (a lot of them) and I knew I wouldn't have ever seen bugs like them before and I had prepared myself for the day they would return. But nothing could have prepared me for the battle I woke up to yesterday morning... ANTS!

I now have a little ant hole coming up through the tiles in my bedroom. They are the little itty bitty teeny tiny ants but man almighty are there a lot of them. And they are not going down without a fight. And, I'm sorry to say, I am not being nice. It's war and I'm Doom'ing them. So far it's working! I think their dead bodies may be blocking the hole or a messenger ant has alerted the rest that it's me or them (and my contract has another 20 months on it so guess who's gonna have to go)... There were significantly less today than yesterday and I'm optimistic that if I keep at it, spraying them with doom and bleaching/scrubbing the floors, that there will be no chance of survival.

While I'm sure this is the first of many battles with the local creepy crawlies, I'm hoping my efforts will not be in vain and that it will be a lesson to all the future ants, spiders, roaches, and icky things that attempt to enter: you will not survive in my house, stay in yours!

Reflections on Adoption in Botswana

I just finished watching "The Cider House Rules" and, as I'm sure you can imagine, it has me pondering the idea of adoption. Of course, this is not a new or unique topic of thought for me - I am surrounded by orphans every day and have spent the last four years working with children in the foster care system. I have also made it quite clear that I intend to open my heart some day to foster and/or adopt children that need the love and support of a caring home. (In fact, when I left for Botswana six months ago, my family and friends joked about my coming home with a little Motswana child.) Given this, it is needless to say that this movie really tugged at my heartstrings. In reflecting on the story, my thoughts brought me back to a conversation we had during in-service training concerning adoption in Botswana.

We have learned that Botswana is plagued with an HIV/AIDS pandemic that has left countless children orphaned (and almost all considered "vulnerable"). With the loss of a parent, many children become separated from their siblings, as relatives in other villages divvy up children according to what they can accommodate. (Note: families are often large and poverty is common - the food baskets given to supplement when an orphan is taken in rarely is enough.) In some circumstances, orphans are merely left to be raised by older children or fend for themselves. As such, it would seem that adoption would be an obvious choice. That being said, adoption of Batswana children outside of the country is almost unheard of.

During in-service training, someone asked the Batswana staff what they would think of a child being adopted by someone from the United States. It was almost unanimous that it would be very uncomfortable for them and they would not like to see a child leave. The most asserted reason for this? That they do not know what kind of life that child would have abroad and they would not be able to watch out for them.

In my short time here, I have seen orphans rummage through my garbage looking for food, drink water out of a dirty (sewage) pond, and basically rear themselves, so the idea that a child would not be well cared for by adoptive parents from the United States seemed ridiculous by comparison. Life is hard enough for children in Botswana, let alone if they are orphaned. But, at the same time, the children are not necessarily abandoned here and I recognize the desire to watch the children grow and ensure that they are okay (no matter what that "okay" looks like). And, in truth, I never really considered the emotional impact adoption would have on the child's community. They have a right to raise their nation's children, even if their way of nurturing doesn't reflect my own (Americanized) standards. So, what I've come to is this: In reference to adoption, especially in cases like those in Botswana, the subject is complex and there is much more to be reflected on.

Stay tuned for more thoughts on the subject...

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

For those of you that don't know, my dad died on December 23, 2005. It's been almost six years since he passed away but not a day goes by that I don't think about him and wish he were here. Today, in particular, my thoughts go to him. Today would have been his 63rd birthday.

This is the first major family event that I am missing while in Africa. For the last few years, we have all gotten together on my dad's birthday to eat a good meal and make a toast to my dad and then share our favorite stories and memories. Even if we were having a hard time dealing with his absence, it was comforting to be around people I love and to be remembering all the things we loved so much about my dad. This year I am joining my family in this tradition in spirit from halfway across the world.

I am also being joined in celebrating my dad by my new Bots 10 family. They have sent me messages of love and support and offered a variety of different gestures all in memory of my dad. I have been so grateful for each and every person that has reached out today.

In fact, today has been a really wonderful day for me. I was a little worried since it had the potential to be very emotional. I am relieved and quite happy to say that it has been one of my better days in Botswana. (This is probably not a coincidence. I am sure my dad has some role in this somehow.)  My day started by waking up ten minutes before my alarm was schedule to go off. I felt rested - a rarity these days. I made myself a big cup of coffee and took a long hot bath. I had a physio appointment scheduled for today in Gaborone so, instead of going into the office, I wandered to the bus stop with all three of my compound dogs following close behind me. I recognized people as I walked down the earthen road and was greeted with big smiles and waves. I had a nice chat with a man at the bus stop and then caught a really wonderful hitch into Gabs. The man I had been talking with ended up paying for my ride without so much as a phone number request. It was just a nice, sincere gesture from a welcoming man. Then I got the front seat on the combi as it was about to pull out of the rank (this is HUGE because the combis get super packed and sometimes you're basically sitting on people's laps, plus the front seat gives you extra space). I got to my physio appointment about 30 minutes early because of all the wins with rides - I was prepared with my book (The Poisonwood Bible) so I was keen to sit and read in the waiting room. But just as I was getting comfortable, the doctor came out and said he could get me in early, which also left me with extra time for my appointment so I had a really long and wonderful massage. Afterwards, I went to one of the malls to get a mango smoothie and look for a pilates ball. Not only did I find one at the first store I went to but it was on sale and it came with a pump! (Those of you who know me, I'm sure you realize how happy this makes me! SALE!) Now I'm sitting in my living room, the smell of fresh baking bread filling my house, and listening to some amazing music. I can hear children laughing in the distance and can see puppies playing in the yard. It's all so pleasant and welcoming and wonderful.

I'm in a good place now. This is incredibly comforting. To think back even a few weeks ago, I don't think I would have fared as well. I am stronger, happier, and more comfortable in where I am, who I am, and what lies before me. And I am grateful. All the bumps and hiccups and heartbreaks along the way have gotten me to this point. If I am honest, I think that was one of the lessons of my dad's life. His life was full of ups and downs, some things that were wonderful and hysterical and sad and difficult, and there definitely wasn't enough time. But he kept at it and tried new things and stopped to watch a sunset or to play with his kids. So that's what I'm going to do to honor him this year. I am going to seize the day, keep on truckin when things are tough, laugh at every juncture, and take time to embrace the moments because you never know when it's going to end.

Happy birthday daddy! We'll keep on rockin in your honor!

Oh, give me the beat, boys, and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

The past two weeks in Bots...

A lot has happened since my last post... It is time to catch you all up on my happenings in Botswana.

In-Service Training (IST):

For a week and a half I joined my fellow Bots 10ers in a neighboring village, Mogoditshane, for what is called in-service training. Basically what that means is we continue working on our language acquisition, delve deeper into cultural issues, and participate in skills training seminars on topics such as program design and implementation, proposal writing, and monitoring and evaluation. Unofficially, it is also a time when we can reconnect with other volunteers. This second part may have been the most beneficial part of IST for me. I say this because it was an opportunity to talk with my colleagues about their experiences at site. In hearing everyone's stories, I was relieved to learn that many of us are having similar issues and dealing with the same emotions. The difficulty of working in a developing country, even one that is as seemingly progressive as Botswana, is evident in each of our stories. (Having cell phone coverage and electricity does not accurately indicate Botswana's state of development. It is merely a facade. Take this cover out of the equation and the reality is that Botswana is nascent. The challenges are very real and we have a lot to contend with and are being heavily impacted.) It was a time to share coping strategies, to learn from one another, to gain new skills and valuable insight, and then to let go of our worries and have a little fun too.

In addition to our classroom sessions, we saw movies, ate good food, drank cocktails, caught up on gossip and stories, sat in the sunshine reading magazines, watched television (mostly Animal Planet), and took long hot showers. It was all the things we had been missing out on for four months. Bonus: we were together. Although it was a little overstimulating (going from two months of solitude to constant interaction), it was so reviving to be among my friends. Along the way we have gotten closer and it truly felt like family as we roamed from room to room to visit one another. The last time we had been at that lodge, we had just arrived in country and were on our best behavior. Now we are just ourselves and that felt pretty perfect.

Also, we had another Language Proficiency Interview (LPI), which is a fancy term for language test. I didn't realize how much Setswana I had learned during lockdown. Being in my village and muddling through with the neighbor kids, the OVCs, and the rest of my community has really rubbed off on me. It felt good to be at a point where I can converse and be comfortable in Setswana. It also gave me some confidence and has encouraged me to push myself to use the language even more. Overall, not too shabby.

Puppies:

Seven puppies were born on my compound about a month and a half ago. They are ridiculously adorable and so so sweet. I've been documenting their growth through pictures and was absolutely shocked to see how big they got while I was gone at IST. They are adventurous and playful and extremely cuddly. (As I type this, there are puppies wandering into my house to explore and to get some quality snuggle time in.) They have been vaccinated and are ready to go to new homes. Three of Bots 10ers and one of the language teachers are adopting puppies so I will still get to watch them grow up over the next two years. So excited, so precious.

Local Artists and their Beautiful Work:

I went with a few friends to the neighboring village of Gabane a few days ago. There are a lot of signs on the main road for arts and crafts, pottery, local fruits, etc. I pass the village whenever I go to buy groceries and have always meant to stop and check it all out but hadn't yet so I was so excited when my visitors wanted to go too. We wandered through Gabane, stopping to greet villagers on our way to find the shops. Once there, we were welcomed by artists and potters and craftsmen alike all working on their particular trade. We got to watch as they threw local clay to make beautiful bowls and pitchers and various other sundries. It was a site to behold watching them create. (If anyone comes to visit, we will certainly be going there and you will undoubtably buy some amazing local art.)

Garden Project:

Yesterday I broke ground on a garden for the village OVCs (orphans and vulnerable children) and people infected with HIV. The garden is about the size of a football field, has amazing soil (a rarity in Botswana), and should produce a lot of food to feed all those affected by and infected with HIV. To help me with the project, a rotation of friends from the Bots 10 group are coming to my village and putting in a few days at a time. They are joining me, a few members of my NGO's staff, and a flow of community members and children. We are all getting our hands dirty in an effort to help the Kumakwane community.

These past two days have been designing a plan for the plot, which will have eight 24'X24' plots (inside a covered area) and a small fruit tree orchard beside the enclosed structure. We also spent four painstaking hours digging the initial trench system to route the underground water source and irrigate the garden. By the time we were finished, we were covered in mud, our hands blistered, and thoroughly exhausted. We are also invigorated because we are starting to see the potential come to life. Tomorrow we will plant the trees, continue digging trenches, and (hopefully) get a few beds in one or two of the plots ready for planting.

The garden is going to be a huge undertaking and it will probably take months to get it entirely put together but, in the end, it's something that will last and will sustain those in need. It's something viable, substantial, and impactful.

Evening of Cultural Exchange:

Before last night, I had never been to a bar in my village. (Actually, I'm never out after dark because the Peace Corps scared the bejesus out of us... unnecessarily it seems.) But yesterday I saw a sign on a bar that I've been curious about since I moved to site (it has monkeys painted on the side and picnic tables) that was advertising "Jazz" starting at 4pm. Having four Bots 10ers with my to work on the garden project, we decided we had strength in numbers and would venture out to check out the jazz. Everyone stared at us when we walked into the compound (read: large fenced yard reminiscent of a beer garden) and we made our way to the bar (aka one-room house with a bar and a few fridges). We ordered drinks (in Setswana) and went outside to listen to the DJ playing local music. Everyone was dancing around and sitting at tables talking among their friends. The occasional person would come over and introduce themselves to us and chat for a little while. It was cordial, comfortable, and really really nice (so unlike what we had been told).

I met a girl that was orphaned at six-years-old and who utilized services at my NGO as a child. We talked about what it's like to lose a parent, about her goal to visit another country some day, and her fears about the future. She is raising her young cousins who were orphaned. She's only 20. She has a dream of starting a small support group for youth to provide them with clothes and toiletries and help them come of age as an orphan. I am going to help her get started.

We met a handful of other people and then we got to watch traditional dance and listen to local music. It was a really fun time.

On our way home, we were walking down my earthen road when a truck suddenly went off the road and rolled into a ditch and onto its side. We ran over to see if the driver was okay and to help him get out of the vehicle. Within minutes there were four cars shining their headlights onto the rolled car and two dozen people all clambering to help. It didn't take long before the driver was out of the car, completely unharmed, and we started to work at getting the truck out of the ditch and back on the road. Everyone was calm as we brainstormed ways to move the truck, knowing that we could do it if we all worked together. And it did take all of us pulling and pushing and wrenching to get the truck back on the road but, about 45 minutes later, the man was heading home.

What inspired me most was how everyone came together, literally crawling out of the woodwork, to help. I have rarely seen such collectivism and community. It was a testament to the type of people the Batswana are. I felt pretty proud to be a part of this community last night. It's wonderful to be a part of something that is so unified, resourceful, and charitable.