AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Now that I got the yelling, screaming, and dancing out of my system (for now), I am happy to say that....

MY INVITATION IS IN THE MAIL!!!

I will be leaving on April 1st for Africaaaaa! (Yes, we all know that this departure date means Botswana and I am THRILLED!) My invitation has changed from original nomination of Business Development to NGO Development but my Placement Specialist said that this position is a "perfect fit" for me! I could not be more excited right now! (Excuse me while I go back to doing a happy dance... more later!)

Holy Emotional Rollercoaster!

I spent half the day today in a slight panic after realizing that the eight week mark before my nomination date was fast upon me and I hadn't been contacted by my Placement Specialist yet... Welllllllll, that panic turned into some serious excitement because guess who has their placement assessment at 7:00 tomorrow morning!? Yes, that's right, ME! I was on my way out the door from work when I received the official email asking for my availability in the next few days for my final interview! After calling my mom and taking a minute to compose myself, I emailed back and got it scheduled for first thing in the morning! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! Please send positive thoughts my way and stay tuned for tomorrow's update! Hooray!

Hello Peace Corps, it's me, Tija!

Hello Peace Corps, it's me, Tija! I just thought I would send out a little reminder that I'm still here, waiting on the day that my cell phone rings with a 202 area code and my stomach fills up with butterflies as I run out of my office to take the call... I appreciate your letting the anticipation build and giving me time to be excited, truly I do, but I am ready for the call now. I mean, it has been a month since you said "within a month" for my placement interview. I even turned my ringer up obnoxiously loud so that I won't miss the call. Also, if you could call Kati that would be sweet because her call was supposed to come last week. Both calls would be extremely appreciated. I mean, we have an epic going away party to plan that we have been putting off in hopes of receiving this call (and a blue envelope in the mail) first. I promise we will send you an invitation in exchange for one...

I Choose To Smile

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Despite all of my hard work at my agency this past year (tripling our grant funding, developing a marketing strategy that increased enrollment in our fatherhood education program by 100%, and coordinating our free legal clinic for low-income families), I was told yesterday that my position was being cut back to part-time. Of course, I was really upset - I was frustrated, irritated, disappointed, and crushed. I cried a little bit and then I freaked out about money, bills, saving, etc. I ran the gamut of emotions. I have done a lot for this agency and have stayed the course through all the ups and downs these last four years and could hardly believe this was how I was being repaid. (Ha, funny, "paid"!) I left the office not knowing how all of this would work out or what I was going to do.

In the light of a new day (and being true to my new years resolution), I feel like this could almost be a blessing. I have accomplished a lot in my job, there is nowhere else for me to go in this position, and I am planning on leaving in a few months to start a new journey with the Peace Corps anyway. I can rearrange my student loan payments, I can cut back on some spending, but I can never get this time back. I absolutely refuse to spend any more of my time fretting and dwelling on this. I have been successful in my work and now I am getting a chance to finish some projects while also taking some extra time to enjoy life.

I plan to use this extra time to do the things I love - to go snowboarding, to ride horses, to volunteer, and to spend time with my family and friends. I am rejuvenated and ready to accept this new fate and make the most of it.

So I'm sitting at my desk with a big cup of coffee, listening to my music just "a little" too loud, planning my snowboarding adventure for tomorrow, and smiling because they have no idea how much they are going to miss me when I'm gone.  :)

New Year, New Perspective

To celebrate the start of 2011, I went to Seattle to spend the weekend with some of my best friends from college. We went to a ridiculously awesome hip hop show, ate at some of my favorite restaurants, and "hydrated, dehydrated, and caffeinated" together. It was a glorious weekend.

During one of our escapades, we laughed about our (mis)adventures and joked about New Years Resolutions. Up to that point, I hadn't thought about New Years Resolutions at all, having focused almost exclusively on fretting about placement and the months (way) ahead of me. Our conversation got me reflecting on 2010 and thinking about what I wanted in 2011.

The past year was full of significant ups and downs - I was forced to stand up for myself, I exceeded even my own expectations for receiving grant funding, I was laid up after a bad injury, I said goodbye to an old friend and made new meaningful friendships, I made it through the fifth year after losing my dad, and, finally, I applied for Peace Corps. In thinking forward to 2011, I knew I wanted to take these lessons and the strength I have gained throughout the year and really utilize them. What I have come to is this: I want to be brave, to wake up each day with a fresh perspective, and to embrace moments. These are the areas that I want to continue to develop because I believe whole-heartedly that encompassing them will enrich my life.

I realize that I have a hard time slowing down and this has made times in my life blur together and has probably changed the depth of my experiences. I want 2011 to be full of memories and I am eager to embrace them. What this means for me (and my pursuit of Peace Corps) is that I will strive to slow down and enjoy the process of things, to find happiness and rejoice in whatever comes my way, to be open to change, to see the world from a variety of new and different ways, to trust untiringly, and to be present.

Deep breath. "Patience is a virtue." Sigh.

I have been noticing what seems to be an increasing number of invitations being sent out to my fellow Peace Corps applicants. This is an exciting time and I am so so happy for each and every one of you. That being said, I am also a little bit sad for me (and for Kati) because we are still stuck in this waiting game. And I think that sadness feels a little stronger because I am genuinely thrilled for everyone when they get their invitation and then I realize I am no closer to getting mine. Then I get a frown face.

So I decided to email my Placement Specialist to find out the timeline for this phase and to find out if my program was still open, all under the guise that I have continued to take certificate courses and need to update my resume. Well, she emailed me back and I think I am more depressed for having emailed her. (Note to self, it is better to be patient and let the process happen as it may and stop being nosey because you might not like what you hear.) What I know now is that I need to fax copies of documentation related to additional experience to the Peace Corps office, that there are a lot of people with programs departing sooner than me and they take precedence, that I need to be flexible to worldwide placement, and that it will be AT LEAST ANOTHER MONTH before she will be ready to review my file. Sigh, tear, and frown face all rolled into one.

What does this mean to me you ask? It means that I will do my best to sit back, practice patience, and continue to be as excited as possible for everyone, knowing that sooner or later it will be my turn. *Deep breath*

"Your file is now complete and with your Placement Officer for determination for service"

I received an email this morning from my Placement Assistant letting me know that my file is complete and that it is now with my Placement Specialist for final review. I am beyond ecstatic! It is so comforting to know that everything is in and that I am in the last stage of this whole process. I know it's only been a few months since I applied but it has felt like an eternity...

Of course, the email reminded me (in a standard form way) that I may not receive an invitation for my program of nomination and to be open to working with the Placement Specialist in the case I am invited to serve in another location. This is cause for consideration and some deep thought. So that is exactly what I have been doing. This is what I have surmised:

I am open to whatever happens. I didn't have a place in mind when I applied and I said that I would be willing to serve wherever my help was needed most. Yes, I am pretty excited about the idea of serving in Botswana (thank you Peace Corps Wiki and the Mobleys for your inside information) but am also pretty confident that wherever I end up will be the right place for me. Also, I did some research on my Placement Specialist and she has done everything, literally, and is a highly educated and accomplished individual. I have confidence in her and believe she will place me somewhere I am well suited. That being said, I obviously prefer my Sub-Saharan Africa nomination because I have mentally committed myself to going (and my family has started their "Africa funds" and would probably opt to visit Africa instead of me if my location changed).

In the end, it will be a worthwhile and amazing adventure wherever I end up. I am just excited to be rounding out this process and finding out where I will be serving.

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."

We have contact!

It seems as though the Peace Corps Placement Office has, in fact, been reading my blog. I say this because the day after I posted about my RAS and pleaded with Placement to contact me and calm my restless heart, I received an email from the Business Placement and Assessment Assistant! Hallelujah! She requested my updated resume, documentation of my TEFL certification, and additional information on my fellowship experience in Israel. As of 9:00 this morning, everything has been sent in! And, courtesy of my wonderful recruiter, I have direct contact information for my Placement Specialist so she is not a mystery anymore! Could it be that this waiting-for-an-invite may finally come to an end? Until then, I am a happy girl to be at this point!

Human Rights Day: A Challenge For The Future

The promotion and protection of human rights became a primary concern for the United Nations following the atrocities of WWII. The global community weeped at the loss of so many lives and resolved that they would never let hatred and death reign again. Three years later, in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it was written that respect for human rights and human dignity "is the foundation of freedom, justice, and peace in the world."

On this day, December 10th, we observe Human Rights Day in commemoration and respect for the Assembly's adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and for their dedication to protect the rights of people the world over. Over the years, nations, agencies, and individuals have joined forces to ensure the primacy of human rights and to confront human rights violations wherever they occur.

Sadly, people continue to suffer from gross misconduct. People in our own backyards are being bullied for their sexuality, communities across the ocean are needlessly being slaughtered, and women and children are victims of sex trafficking at home and abroad.

I believe in the power of a unified group to make a difference and to bring great change. Therefore, it is not enough to declare any one day to be Human Rights Day. We need to take a stand every day to protect the rights and freedoms of our friends, neighbors, and more. I challenge everyone who reads this blog to speak up against discrimination, to not sit idly by when you see someone suffering, and to educate yourself and others about what human rights are and how you can help protect them. For me, today is a day to regroup and prepare myself for the fight to protect human rights in the year ahead. Let Human Rights Day be a celebration of how far we have come but, more so, a reminder of all the work still left to do.

RAS - Restless Applicant Syndrome

I am 126 days into the Peace Corps application process. I have passed all of my clearances and am waiting to hear from the placement office. As I have finished each stage in the application process, the fact that I am fulfilling this dream of joining the Peace Corps has become more of a reality. I am excited and I can't wait to have my invitation in hand. This excitement, however, has made way for a plague that most Peace Corps applicants know very well - Restless Applicant Syndrome.

Restless Applicant Syndrome (RAS) is very real and extremely debilitating. RAS occurs in Peace Corps applicants who are engaging in the long and arduous waiting game associated with the application process. Symptoms include: anxiety, emotional outbursts, nervous twitching, irrational thoughts, self-doubt, and lack of focus. Work becomes increasingly difficult as the applicant tries to calculate ways to contact Peace Corps to find out about their application status. Obsessive reading of Peace Corps Journals is commonplace. Compulsive taking of certification courses has been known to occur in some applicants. Obscurity in the application process only exacerbates RAS. And, although the Peace Corps office tells applicants to be patient as this waiting game teaches skills needed for service, this will not comfort an applicant with RAS. The only known cure for RAS is an invitation.

If you or someone you know suffers from RAS, rest assured that you are not alone. I am with you.

P.s. Peace Corps Placement Office, if you are reading this, please help alleviate my RAS by getting in touch with me. Even a standard form letter would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.