Deep breath. "Patience is a virtue." Sigh.

I have been noticing what seems to be an increasing number of invitations being sent out to my fellow Peace Corps applicants. This is an exciting time and I am so so happy for each and every one of you. That being said, I am also a little bit sad for me (and for Kati) because we are still stuck in this waiting game. And I think that sadness feels a little stronger because I am genuinely thrilled for everyone when they get their invitation and then I realize I am no closer to getting mine. Then I get a frown face.

So I decided to email my Placement Specialist to find out the timeline for this phase and to find out if my program was still open, all under the guise that I have continued to take certificate courses and need to update my resume. Well, she emailed me back and I think I am more depressed for having emailed her. (Note to self, it is better to be patient and let the process happen as it may and stop being nosey because you might not like what you hear.) What I know now is that I need to fax copies of documentation related to additional experience to the Peace Corps office, that there are a lot of people with programs departing sooner than me and they take precedence, that I need to be flexible to worldwide placement, and that it will be AT LEAST ANOTHER MONTH before she will be ready to review my file. Sigh, tear, and frown face all rolled into one.

What does this mean to me you ask? It means that I will do my best to sit back, practice patience, and continue to be as excited as possible for everyone, knowing that sooner or later it will be my turn. *Deep breath*

"Your file is now complete and with your Placement Officer for determination for service"

I received an email this morning from my Placement Assistant letting me know that my file is complete and that it is now with my Placement Specialist for final review. I am beyond ecstatic! It is so comforting to know that everything is in and that I am in the last stage of this whole process. I know it's only been a few months since I applied but it has felt like an eternity...

Of course, the email reminded me (in a standard form way) that I may not receive an invitation for my program of nomination and to be open to working with the Placement Specialist in the case I am invited to serve in another location. This is cause for consideration and some deep thought. So that is exactly what I have been doing. This is what I have surmised:

I am open to whatever happens. I didn't have a place in mind when I applied and I said that I would be willing to serve wherever my help was needed most. Yes, I am pretty excited about the idea of serving in Botswana (thank you Peace Corps Wiki and the Mobleys for your inside information) but am also pretty confident that wherever I end up will be the right place for me. Also, I did some research on my Placement Specialist and she has done everything, literally, and is a highly educated and accomplished individual. I have confidence in her and believe she will place me somewhere I am well suited. That being said, I obviously prefer my Sub-Saharan Africa nomination because I have mentally committed myself to going (and my family has started their "Africa funds" and would probably opt to visit Africa instead of me if my location changed).

In the end, it will be a worthwhile and amazing adventure wherever I end up. I am just excited to be rounding out this process and finding out where I will be serving.

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."

We have contact!

It seems as though the Peace Corps Placement Office has, in fact, been reading my blog. I say this because the day after I posted about my RAS and pleaded with Placement to contact me and calm my restless heart, I received an email from the Business Placement and Assessment Assistant! Hallelujah! She requested my updated resume, documentation of my TEFL certification, and additional information on my fellowship experience in Israel. As of 9:00 this morning, everything has been sent in! And, courtesy of my wonderful recruiter, I have direct contact information for my Placement Specialist so she is not a mystery anymore! Could it be that this waiting-for-an-invite may finally come to an end? Until then, I am a happy girl to be at this point!

Human Rights Day: A Challenge For The Future

The promotion and protection of human rights became a primary concern for the United Nations following the atrocities of WWII. The global community weeped at the loss of so many lives and resolved that they would never let hatred and death reign again. Three years later, in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it was written that respect for human rights and human dignity "is the foundation of freedom, justice, and peace in the world."

On this day, December 10th, we observe Human Rights Day in commemoration and respect for the Assembly's adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and for their dedication to protect the rights of people the world over. Over the years, nations, agencies, and individuals have joined forces to ensure the primacy of human rights and to confront human rights violations wherever they occur.

Sadly, people continue to suffer from gross misconduct. People in our own backyards are being bullied for their sexuality, communities across the ocean are needlessly being slaughtered, and women and children are victims of sex trafficking at home and abroad.

I believe in the power of a unified group to make a difference and to bring great change. Therefore, it is not enough to declare any one day to be Human Rights Day. We need to take a stand every day to protect the rights and freedoms of our friends, neighbors, and more. I challenge everyone who reads this blog to speak up against discrimination, to not sit idly by when you see someone suffering, and to educate yourself and others about what human rights are and how you can help protect them. For me, today is a day to regroup and prepare myself for the fight to protect human rights in the year ahead. Let Human Rights Day be a celebration of how far we have come but, more so, a reminder of all the work still left to do.

RAS - Restless Applicant Syndrome

I am 126 days into the Peace Corps application process. I have passed all of my clearances and am waiting to hear from the placement office. As I have finished each stage in the application process, the fact that I am fulfilling this dream of joining the Peace Corps has become more of a reality. I am excited and I can't wait to have my invitation in hand. This excitement, however, has made way for a plague that most Peace Corps applicants know very well - Restless Applicant Syndrome.

Restless Applicant Syndrome (RAS) is very real and extremely debilitating. RAS occurs in Peace Corps applicants who are engaging in the long and arduous waiting game associated with the application process. Symptoms include: anxiety, emotional outbursts, nervous twitching, irrational thoughts, self-doubt, and lack of focus. Work becomes increasingly difficult as the applicant tries to calculate ways to contact Peace Corps to find out about their application status. Obsessive reading of Peace Corps Journals is commonplace. Compulsive taking of certification courses has been known to occur in some applicants. Obscurity in the application process only exacerbates RAS. And, although the Peace Corps office tells applicants to be patient as this waiting game teaches skills needed for service, this will not comfort an applicant with RAS. The only known cure for RAS is an invitation.

If you or someone you know suffers from RAS, rest assured that you are not alone. I am with you.

P.s. Peace Corps Placement Office, if you are reading this, please help alleviate my RAS by getting in touch with me. Even a standard form letter would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Favorite 2AM Wake-Up Call

At 2:04AM, I received a notification from Peace Corps. "A decision has been reached regarding your medical review." Since my nurse reviewer had told me that I would be cleared as soon as she received my last two labs, and since I talked to my doctor yesterday and she confirmed "non-reactive" results to these labs sent to PC the day before, I can only believe this means I have been MEDICALLY CLEARED! Hooooooray! I am a really happy girl right now! Next up, placement!

Getting closer! One more needle prick and I should be good to go!

I received a rather snide email this morning from my nurse reviewer saying that the labs my doctor faxed over were not right and, basically, that if I want to be medically cleared then I need to send over the correct labs. (Okay, I do, so I will get right on it!) Obviously I wanted to call my doctor's office at 6:18am when I got the email but, alas, they don't open until 8 so I had to wait... So I got ready for work extra quickly, took my dog for a walk, and then sat staring at the clock waiting for it to strike 8 so I could make an appointment to get in for the blood draw to run the labs. (This is evidence of my personal growth through the Peace Corps process - I am actually seeking out doctors and needles and blood draws!) I left a voicemail for my doctor's assistant, explaining everything and asking her to get back to me. Then I waited. At 10:53 I called again because I hadn't received a call back. This time I actually got to talk to my doctor's assistant, who I adore. She said she was going to chase down my doctor and get her to send the tests to the lab right away and that she would call me back to confirm as soon as it was taken care of. It's now 11:56 and I'm waiting again to hear from her. Sigh. Honestly, if Peace Corps teaches me anything during this whole application process it's patience. I will most likely get in to the lab this afternoon for the blood draw and hopefully they can put a rush on the two labs. I really want to get everything faxed over to Peace Corps by Friday so that my nurse reviewer has a chance to look it all over and medically clear me by Thanksgiving - it sure would be a nice little side dish to turkey and gravy! Fingers crossed!

Almost medically cleared. Almost.

I am almost through medical... ALMOST.

After eight weeks of waiting, I received an email from my nurse reviewer yesterday. She said that my file was missing documentation of two labs and that once she gets them that I will be medically cleared. I immediately called my doctor's office and asked them to fax the labs over. Well, there may be a glitch - they may not have ran one of the tests. I'm not sure yet but I'm almost certain that I will need to go back in and get another blood draw (and possibly a series of shots). Here's the situation: I wasn't immunized for Hepatitis B (routine Hep B vaccinations didn't start until 1991, I was born in 1983, and my pediatrician never said to get it). The first of the labs for Hep B reflected that I hadn't been immunized. According to my doctor's assistant, the subsequent lab would show the same thing so they put a notice of that in with my labs and that was what I sent to Peace Corps (even though I said over and over again that I need all of the tests done regardless because "Peace Corps said so"... sigh.) Anyway, my doctor's office faxed the labs they had to my nurse reviewer. I emailed her to confirm she received everything and to see if there were any problems (hoping she would say no and I would be cleared). As seems to be the case with all Peace Corps ventures, I'm still waiting to hear back from her...

This morning I received a MyToolkit update saying there is now a hold on my medical. I'm not sure if that means my file is still in review or if that means I need to go get the additional labs done. I'm assuming it's the latter. I put a call in to my doctor to let her know that I will probably need to come in again. And, as I do more research on the Hep B immunization, I'm also assuming that I will need to get that series done as a precaution considering I will most likely be living in an area with high prevalance of Hep B...

So that is the story for now. I am almost through medical.

"Let us rise up and be thankful"

Tonight's yoga class gave me an overwhelming sense of powerfulness and gratefulness and I wanted to share in the hopes that the feeling will spread to others.

For almost a year I have felt like I couldn't breathe a whole breath in. This is something I struggled with after my dad died but I had healed most of those wounds. This felt different. Honestly, I have generally been pretty happy and have very little to complain about but I obviously had a lot to let go of still. Well, somewhere in the midst of Surya Namaksara B I took a deep breath and realized I was able to fill my whole lungs. I felt empowered. By the hundredth chataranga, when I normally would be getting tired, I found myself pushing for more and feeling stronger. I couldn't help but smile because it felt like mile 12 of a half marathon when the end is finally in sight and you take a deep breath and just go for it. It felt amazing. So grateful.

I found myself feeling grateful for others too. I heard my fellow yogis breathing and I felt grateful that they had oxygen to fill their lungs. I heard a tummy rumble and I was grateful their bodies worked and they had food to eat. And by the time we took rest it had become less about me and I was grateful for all the things that filled the room - the people, the warmth, the energy. It felt like a hug from a long lost friend.

It takes more than motivation and passion to accomplish great things. The strength to do it has to come from within. I needed to find this "friend" again, this more powerful and grateful version of myself, in order to truly make a difference. Tonight was a step at getting that inner strength back. I can breathe again. I am so grateful.

A Friendly Reminder from Good Ol' Dr. Seuss

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone! Whether you like it or not. Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

(Trust me, I'm trying to get on my way! Do you hear that Peace Corps? Dr. Seuss says that today is my day! It really is time to push me through to placement!)